Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Miracle of Ms. Plum

And now, for something completely different.

Mr. Sillypants here, taking a moment to offer a guest blog entry, one which is actually somewhat clandestine, if you must know. (Ms. Plum is sitting on another couch as I post this - - - I think she assumes I’m doing my charting . . . mum's the word.) Although this is our family blog which details and reflects on the experiences of our daily lives, it is no secret that the brains, brilliance and passion behind this ongoing effort lies almost exclusively with our beloved Ms. Plum. And, on the Eve of Mother’s Day, I cannot think of a more appropriate thing than for me to jot down a few words about the miracle which she is to me, to our family and to so many others.

Many of you who read our blog regularly actually know Ms. Plum in another context, as a family member, close friend, acquaintance, coworker, fellow adoptive parent or as a fellow champion working for social justice. (Perhaps you fit in a number of these categories.) Others of you have come to know Ms. Plum solely through the things she writes here. This blog, her labor of love, as it were, is somewhat of an ongoing examination of those things within our lives which are powerful, meaningful and cause for reflection and discussion.

Today, I want to reflect on something else of vital importance, that is, the miracle of Ms. Plum.

Our particular love story is one of interesting twists and turns, of joys and struggles, of bliss and missteps. Above all, it is one of love and support. In the years we’ve been together, we’ve sold three properties and bought another, cried numerous times when children left for travel abroad (and cried even more in joy upon their safe return), sent two children to college, attended countless soccer games (outdoor and indoor), worked to train a frenetic Golden Doodle and trudged through the daily tasks which are part and parcel of building a life together.

We’ve also known the heartbreak of saying goodbye to a beloved parent and the ineffable joy of welcoming Blueberry into our lives. We know the rewards of raising a family and building a life together. We’ve had opportunities to struggle with critically important questions and even more opportunities to laugh at the truly funny things which occur every day.

In all of this, there is the miracle of Ms. Plum.

Loving, compassionate, intelligent, resourceful, caring, warm, ambitious, emotional, passionate, patient, kind, funny . . . these few words are accurate but actually do a woeful job of truly capturing the unbelievable person she is. An amazing mother with seemingly endless reserves of energy, patience, understanding and love, she has taught me volumes about what parenting is all about.

Her children love her for the mother that she is. I love her for the spouse that she is. All of us, readers included, love her for the woman she is.

Both Ms. Plum and I are pretty typical people in relationship, much like many of you who read our blog - - - we’re happy, functional and working hard to be good to each other and to those around us, yet we’re also imperfect, broken, damaged. Life has a way of doing that to the best of us.

Ms. Plum sees my brokenness, my imperfection, my faults - - - those warts which I cannot hide; rather than sweep them away or try to “change” them, she embraces them, celebrates them . . .

This is simply a way of life for her, embracing those around her for the people they are, without reservation or judgment.

Those of you who read our blog also know of her passion for examining and discussing issues of racism, white privilege, discrimination and inequality; you know of the “fire in her belly” which causes her to speak out against the injustices which are present no matter which way you turn. In this work, one which has become a way of life for Ms. Plum, she has been a source of growth, self-examination and change for me. I know that she has been this for many of you, as well.

Many times, her work for justice and equality has been less than popular. (You know, those of us with privilege don’t like hearing about racism.) But, rather than proclaim her observations and pass judgment from an “ivory tower” (as many in privilege are wont to do), she includes herself as part of the problem and asks those of us around her to join in the struggle to change the system and work for true and lasting equality for all.

Even though this is an unpopular stand for some, Ms. Plum simply cannot be silent - - - the issue of discrimination is simply too important to stand mute, even though the storm rages around her. This is another labor of love for her, one which reaches more and more people every day.

Truthfully, I’m absolutely wild about this woman.

When we first started to date and fall in love, Ms. Plum told me she wanted to be someone’s “perfectly imperfect woman,” describing someone who was both “real” and “magical.” She is exactly that, not only to me but, as a mother, sister, daughter and friend.

Happy Mother’s Day, Ms. Plum. You are truly a miracle.


M and M said...

Thank you my love.
...and, you're a sneak; I was watching Lady Gaga and Dead Prez youtube videos while you "charted" and watched basketball...makes me feel shallow.
You are so dear to me, and a source of such goodness in my life. Thank you for always encouraging me to be a better person - especially in the midst of my imperfect moments (of which there are MANY!).
Mostly, thanks for having my back in a HUGE way these past few months as I've struggled through some challenges.
The journey years ago saying goodbye to mom and now presently as I begin to define my work as an ally has affirmed the best parts of being your partner - that is, knowing you're with me.
<3 you Mr. Sillypants!

M and M said...

and Blueberry...of course Blueberry. Always our amazing Blue.

Mama Papaya said...

Feeling pretty lucky to witness such an extraordinary love for an extraordinary life with an extraordinary woman.

jayme said...

and, by the way, I think it's completely awesome that you're watching Dead Prez videos!

jayme said...

This made me tear up! You two are imperfectly perfect for one another, and I am so lucky to call you friends!

Stacy said...

love all of you ... aspire to be more Ms Plum and less Ms Safety ... really love that she is so well loved.

D said...

Here, here!

{drinking some alcohol in Ms. Plum's honor}

Mindy and Baldwin said...

Oh sniff sniff. That has got to be the sweetest blog post I've ever read.

Waiting for Zufan! said...

Wow. That totally, completely makes me cry. I'm in the office crying. Real tears. I would give SO much to have someone love me like that, and someone that I could pour the love and admiration onto, too. (Not asking for pity, despite the slight whine-tone in that last sentence! :) I'm just saying you're giving me hope!) You are both incredibly fortunate to have each other. Thanks so much for sharing this. It was very sweet.