On Monday night at 10 PM I got a call from Waffles. He said excitedly, "Mom, I'm on my way home from the snowboard race tonight and my tire just blew out. I pulled over. I'm OK. I'm out in the country. What do I do?" $276 bucks later the old old ancient rust bucket we call "The Beast" is back on the road with 2 new tires. It was Grandma's car. We have the car because when she died it was not worth selling and I had drivers. It's a stick with a super stiff throw. It doesn't go over 55 very easily and has hand turned wheels for 4-wheel drive. Waffles loves the car. Essential? No. But, I have teens. I have a toddler. I have a job across town. I have a husband who is not the father of my teens and who works very long days. It's essential to our life that we keep our stress levels low, our big kids feeling like they have their own big kid life (part of the adoption plan made the biggies lives front and center and not make the biggie changes too profound - a husband for me was profound enough for them, right?), and that Waffles has ways to navigate 2 homes and his school and sport with some independence. Let me ask again - Essential? Kind of. So, we anted up and the Beast is rollin' again.
Nonetheless, it didn't take long to go off the 30 Days of Nothing plan - 7 days to be exact. Tonight I sent a text to Mr. Silly Pants that said, "pretend you have a Chipotle gift card. I'll take my usual." Here is what I learned: I need to plan better. I need a calendar that really presents a visual of the pace of my week. I need to do more pre-made (weekend prep?) meals for the days I already know are going to be intensely long with taking care of this person that person and those other things too. Tonight, it just all tumbled down around me. 4 out of the last 5 nights Mr. Silly Pants has not been home in the evening (work related). I've worked, prepared meals (Twinkletoes is still home on break and eating dinner every eve with us), put the babe to bed, kept up with laundry - awwwww women, you KNOW the routine! It just tumbled down on me when I walked in the door tonight. I was tired. I wanted to enjoy Blueberry INSTEAD of cooking and cleaning up. I wanted convenience that I hadn't planned for. So, I asked for it. And, I got it - with guacamole, which is extra.
I know that planning is not a strength in my relationship. I don't think Mr. Silly Pants and I plan very well. I don't know why - it's a bit of a mystery to me that we're not more like a dynamic duo in our planning. We're not. We don't seem to look ahead much or organize our weeks with attention to our obligations.
OK, so there's the lesson. I'm back on the horse. All is not lost. I failed. I'm not perfect. Like I needed to remind you all.
I'm going to digest my dinner and fold some laundry. Carry-in doesn't mean I'm off the hook for the double shift. (This is the part of BTDT and having raised biggies in round one that is sometimes a bit of a challenge for me).
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9 comments:
LOL forgive yourself and move on! sounds like you have. Also I have a section of my freezer that has quick food for dinner - bagel bites for the littles calzone or other comfort food for the rest of us for those oh so stressfull days - like you had today. It saves me a ton of money and sanity (which frankly is worth more these days!!)
Breathe easy, sister. You did the right thing under the circumstances. Your relationships are more important than a monthly challenge. Sure, we can call plan better, but sometimes there is just too much on our plates to do what we "ought" to. You do many things well. I'm glad you can just let it roll and get back on it tomorrow. I'm a little jealous of the guacamole...I love Chipotle :)
Life happens, my friend. Go have a glass of wine with your husband and toast life.
Carrie (who almost cried when she found the dark chocolate w/ginger square in her pocket today)
It's about understanding, right? or else, why only 30 days?
I have a hubby who is home no earlier than 8:30 each night, and I know how you feel about your lack of planning, he works Sat. too (only 'til 3) but it is hard with ' so many irons in the fire' just know your mindful awareness to what is important and necessary (and available to you) is essential in your endeavor.
You are achieving your goals. You are folding your laundry (ouch). Off to fold Arlo's school laundry that we bring home every Th (huh?)
Keep up the good work. Chipolte g'c is in the mail ;)
Yeah, but there is something to be said for 'not being good at planning'...that means you're probably more of the 'live in the moment' type of people which is a wonderful thing in itself.
I can relate all too well to those moments of burned-out frustration that lead to exasperated spending choices that I probably wouldn't have made if I was in a better frame of mind.
It's not so terribly important that you went "off-plan". You learned from the experience, which I think is the most important thing. You pinned down one of the reasons why you spend, and you started developing a strategy for avoiding that in the future. That's fantastic work you're doing over there!
The biggest lesson I've learned thus far is that by being *aware* of my spending, I'm able to make conscious choices about how I want to spend the money I have. (And sometimes the very best use of my money will be on that quick and easy meal that I don't have to make myself!) It's a very freeing feeling.
I've also found that planning out all my meals (and making as much ahead of time as possible), while time consuming, really helps to curb the "eating out / ordering in" temptation (which I totally anticipated to be our biggest challenge with this entire exercise).
'a calendar that really presents a visual of the pace of my week'
I've never been able to put that into words - and you did it perfectly. Even when you can anticipate the pace of the week, it changes, as in, flat tires. It is helpful to plan ahead, if only to prepare your brain, but it takes time and it's never accurate. That's why we keep frozen Trader Joe's pizzas in the freezer.
The car IS essential. Especially if it's a stick shift - everyone should learn how to drive on one.
Yes, I agree that you did the right thing! Of course. And I think I'll head over to Qdoba myself on my way home from the office. :) Wow I love Guacamole. (Then yeah, let it digest... And go bed hungry... :))
You're still here. You did not fail. You're still in the class.
(note: please remind me of that one day..)
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