Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Stuck in my craw

Sometimes my stuff gets stuck in my craw and I can't get it out.

Here's today's craw caca:

  • Reading on a blog the following pro's and con's of traveling vs. escorting; Pros include "I get to go to Africa" and "I get to go to a third world country." Cons include "I will have to eat weird stuff" and "I might get sick." Ummmm...AFRICA IS NOT A COUNTRY IT IS A CONTINENT. Also, I hate the term "Third World Country." There are few good alternatives, but I tend to prefer something more like "resource limited countries." Even this term is not an accurate portrayal of some countries referred to as 3rd world - they have resources - but the resources are being pillaged by capitalist imperialists. And I've just touched the vocabulary. The point of view is very immature. I hope this person grows, and quickly.
  • I'm once again organizing cooperative sponsorships for AHOPE children through my agency forum. The response has been hugely lacking. I think 12 families have responded and 4 have sent checks. In addition, the existing 8 cooperative sponsorships are having trouble fulfilling another year's promise. What is so tough about $42 a year? OK OK - my dear Mr. Silly Pants reminds me again and again that my job is to offer and to keep offering without the expectation of what anyone else does with the offer. I get it - it helps. But, I just want to get together on this stuff and be a force for change and for good. AHOPE needs us.
  • Prop 8 HATE is stuck in my craw. Totally craw material.
  • Another blogger says, "One thing I learned along this journey is how no one cares about others adoptions.Everyone(few exceptions ) are out for them selves." WTF? Really - everyone is NOT out for themselves. Everyone needs to be totally about the needs/interests of the kids. It's not about the families, it's about the kids. To lament about one's journey and any challenges posed to the ethics of the adoption journey is to hide one's head in the sand. This person is hiding out, big time.
  • I don't like the whining while waiting for referrals. Never have. Never will. I understand how waiting feels difficult and how some folks struggle with the unexpected changes in wait times and so forth. However, it is an enormous trauma for children to lose their first families. It is an enormous trauma for a child to lose his/her culture. I don't tolerate the whining well. I'm not a good "ear" for complaints. Noone deserves a child. Every child deserves a loving family. But, this is not a smorgasbord. Wait with grace. Period.
  • Read on a post about returning home; "It's so nice to come home to a clean house with electricity and running water!!!!!!!!! Oh, how I hope I never take the little things for granted again! God bless America!" The world is full of injustices - we have what we have in large part because we feel we deserve it and have somehow earned to be at the top of the human food chain (Social Darwinism Lives!). This is craw material. I wish folks would return home moved by the injustices endured by our global neighbors.
  • While on a recent trip and talking about a local charter school I asked about the % of minority populations at this school. I was told it was about 10% minority (I did some research, it's 5% in a community whose population is 25% minority). I asked, "What are the barriers to full inclusion in this school?" I was told, "First, you have to care about education." OUCH! Yeah, the person who said this is dear to me and to Blueberry. We had to have a conversation about this. I'm bothered by it.
  • A patient of Mr. Silly Pants saw Blueberry's picture and said, "So your wife is ___" Mr. Silly Pants quickly filled in the blank with, "A teacher, yes, she's a teacher." Take that you imbecile!!!
  • I had a crown put in and got a "This is NOT A BILL" statement for $1,000. The thing is, it turns out the crown was "coded" as not covered under my new (post marriage) insurance plan. Drat. Double Drat. At least I have some mouth bling to show for it. I'm going to make amends and add another $1K to my yearly donation/charity contributions for our insurance stupidity.
  • Did you know the average American donates less than 3% of his/her annual income to charity? President Obama and Michelle Obama donated 6% last year - on an income of 2.7 million (mostly from his books). 6% is double the national average, but it's only about $180K out of that huge income. And, do you know who contributes the most to charity? The folks with the least. That just stinks. Statistics show those with incomes under $24K contribute about 6-7% to charity. I did the math - we give about 5%. It's not enough. That's craw caca of my own doing.
  • This is old craw stuff that won't leave - someone close to me telling me, "sorry I am not going to donate to Plumpy'Nut. I hate to say it, the world is overpopulated and some people have to die." That's the worst of them - I heard it while waiting to be entrusted the care of sweet and malnourished Blueberry. This one I might never 'get over.'

Whoa...I've got craw caca indeed. Tomorrow I'll post an "I'm grateful" post just to have some balance. For now, I have get moving and trek over to the doc's office and get a mammogram. I might tell the tech about my craw caca since I seem to be in the mood. I can ask for some extra boob smashing for good measure, too.


Liz said...

Oh, I am so glad I am not the only one who has no patience for the whining during waiting! I don't mind it when people talk about how waiting is hard, but when it crosses over into "I'm entitled to get what I want and my agency had better hop to it with the referral-making right now!" that I want to blow a gasket. You seriously want to complain that people aren't DYING fast enough for you to get a referral when you want it? Too much!

VanVoorsts said...

I echo your sentiments! We didn't wait long for a referral but having traveled to ET, met with birth family, - the whining makes me ill.

The plumpy nut comment is just awful - so is the education one.

Bonnie said...

LOL we read some of the same blogs! (and think some of the same things - sigh.)

Deborah said...

OH I really liked this post! Really really. I don't know what craw is though...never heard of craw caca. But this was a good thing to post. Sad some's frustrating the things people say when I tell them I am going to Senegal. Or even Turkey...

Deborah said...

also: "Africa is not a country, its a continent" is exactly what I say. My mother says: "deb's going to Africa." I say: "no, deb's going to Senegal. which is a country on the continent of Africa." :/

Mama Papaya said...

I keep telling myself that most people grow through the process. Because most do. It is a happy-ish thought that helps with processing some things. That and a dash of wine.

But everyone grows and different rate and has different potential in the end, right? At some point nature kicks in after nurture maxes out. Or at least it feels that way. But then there is someone who doesn't grow at all or does, but not by much and I look at the child who came from the country, the culture and the people they are belittling and ache for them. Another tragic turn in a life already so full of tragedy. And that is tragic.

Mindy and Baldwin said...

I like the term "developing nation" as opposed to third world. It's optimistic.

As for the whining while waiting, I confess to having been one of those people. I think it had mostly to do with feeling like a huge uncertainty was hanging over my head and I had no power. I always felt like a dork for doing it though and knew that it was immature. :-)

Mindy and Baldwin said...

p.s. I heard some time ago on NPR a study that reported that people who are more generous in their giving actually end up RICHER! (not that we should all be using that as a reason to give to our favorite causes) but still.....!