I've blogged before about the realities and my reflections about raising teenage children who are part of two homes - their dad's and mine. And, add a little toddler to the mix, the child of my husband and myself, and we've got a tapestry of relationships and parenting styles that is pretty darn interesting.
I'm lucky - our blended family is darn functional. We've worked to keep the dysfunction in the adult realm, and tried to maintain healthy and happy biggies. We all live in the same neighborhood. We're walking distance from Harley (that's what we'll call my X on account of his obsession with Harley bikes). My husband, Mr. Silly Pants, is a friend and very generous adult in the lives of the biggies. He's super - we've grown as a family ourselves since he came into our lives. The depths of this have deepened since we brought our beloved little one into our family. I love being a family of 6.
It's also true that I do a lot of parenting in a pseudo solo space. I say that because I feel like a lot of the parenting I do with the biggies I do in my own space. This is by choice - I'm their mom. I don't want Silly Pants to parent the biggies and they certainly don't want him to parent them. Plus, my biggies have a dad. So, I parent the biggies pretty much on my own. Harley and I cooperate on critical items; common curfew, frequent dialogue about big items (college expenses, sports teams), and we have united fronts on big issue topics (drinking, drugs, dating). Communication lines are open, but most of the time I do my parenting in a more, rather than less, solo way. My opinion is that I do the bulk of the "parenting" in the context of my divorce.