Monday, November 9, 2009

The Adoption Triad

Jane Jeong Trenka wrote this amazing piece "What Adoption Means to Me" from the point of view of her Korean mother. It is powerful. This piece of reading can't/shouldn't/won't leave you - and don't let it.

Blueberrie's first mom didn't "give" her son to me. I know my previous post simplified her actions when I used the term "giving." In an effort to talk about a homily of 'giving', I used the word itself to express that the only person I could think about during the homily was Blueberry's mother. I didn't intend to portray her as having absolute agency in that moment - because I think she was coerced by the conditions of her life - her powerlessness - her poverty - her social status- and too many other things I just don't know about. I've often imgainged what were the combination of factors that really did 'force her hand.' 
I can't get it right in words. Go and read the piece by Trenka.


Liz said...

I read it last week, it is very powerful.

I know what you mean about not being able to get it right in words...I'm going to write my own post about this later in the week, but I got a comment recently from a stranger who heard about my adoption, expressing dismay that someone would actually give up a child. She asked me if I thought I could do that, so many thoughts went through my head but all I could actually say was "I don't know, but then again, I'm not starving."

VanVoorsts said...

Thank you Meghan. Sorry I did not credit you in my post for recognizing the significance of this piece. I always enjoy what I read here. Keep writing and thank you.

M and M said...

Oh T, the only credit that should be given here is the credit given to Trenka for the amazing and provoking writing she does. No need to thank me. It's our job, isn't it, if we blog, to talk about things beyond just the incredible amazing cuteness of our kids. Well, that's how I see my job, anyway.
^5 fellow momma - we're keeping it real.