Under the Acacia Tree

We're moving the blog

2010-07-28T22:55:00.001-05:00

Stay tuned....popular opinion swayed us (we're very impressionable) to move to WordPress.

Frankly, I'm tired of how cumbersome the photo elements of blogspot are - pages never look like the preview! So, tonight I did the FB 'yakity yak' and was sold on the move. A mere whisper of a change and Mr. SillyPants has been working this evening to download the entire blog to WordPress. I'm happy with the result!

You can now find us at http://www.blueberrybuzz.wordpress.com/

We'll notify one more time - the wordpress page isn't totally ready- but I won't be posting anything except moving business here any longer.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-28T15:46:00.000-05:00

Dungeness Spit, WA 2010

PNW, family style

2010-07-27T22:15:00.003-05:00

Teaching Blueberry about tide pools and crabs on 'our island' at Lagoon Beach

We spent a day in the town in which Mr. SillyPants grew up in WA state and visited one of his special places -- Dungeness Spit DID NOT DISAPPOINT. I can't wait to get back there. When we got to the Spit, we were greeted by a cold and misty morning, an eagle perching above our heads, and a seal's head peeking out of the ocean. There was drumming, shooting faceless self portraits (hehehehe),

log walking, and enduring some shivering when not hunkered down.

Mom's island home was built over a number of years primarily through the labor of Mr. SillyPants and his Dad. Mom lives there now - a quiet and stress free life on the edge of the ocean.

Seattle was a ferry ride away - and we made it there for a day of Children's Museum fun and the best peaches EVER at the Market. Yum.

Honestly, it was hard to drag ourselves from beach fun, but we're glad we did.

~ Fort Flagler was our last beach stop - among many...
diggin' in and lovin' Island vacation ~

See you next year!

Songbird: Excerpts from Ecuador

2010-07-17T13:53:00.004-05:00

Songbird sends updates about once a week. They are a blast to read. I really look forward to them. I try to repay 'in kind' with videos for her - typically on my FB page featuring her little brother.

Her updates are fascinating and wonderful to read - this biggest daughter of mine is lovely. This last update had me giggling and understanding more clearly the arduousness of her work. While her updates are ALL worthy of sharing, I keep the bulk of her experience for her to share. Somehow, though, this one just yells for a wider audience. I have deleted the names of the villages, per her request and also out of respect for the Amigos projects themselves.

Here is an excerpt from her latest update:

Hello back home!

Week 3 on route brought some COLD wet weather my way (shout out to mom and dad for getting my NICE boots and sending me off with a good sleeping bag and set of jackets!).....There is snow on all the peaks here!

Tuesday was fiesta day in ________, the volunteers were struggling to get the whole community involved in the community project and campamentos, so we decided to hold a fiesta. I baked 70 cookies and carried them, along with a child sized pinata to ________ which is a half hour walk after a 2 1/2 hour bus ride.... The volunteers are struggling a bit taking initiative and getting things done, they appointed me to run the pinata (yes!). It was a lot of fun for everyone to watch the little kids swing a broom stick at the pinata and miss wildly because I kept pulling the string so the pinata would fly out of reach (this way more people got turns). Then we danced from 7-11 to caraguay/karaway music (look it up on youtube). Its pretty much a shuffle/step dance but three hours of it can really wear a person out. It was extremely awkward because the little kids danced with me and the volunteers while most of the parents and older kids sat around and watched us. But one of the best AMIGOS lessons (and maybe lessons) is: EMBRACE THE AWKWARD MOMENTS.

One of my vols and I and a friend of ours were also almost eaten my dogs on the way back from dinner one night. That was also quite an experience. Pitch black, foggy, cold, one flashlight and a lot of growling, barking, mean mean dogs surrounding us. We made it back home all in one piece, though I felt the adrenaline of the walk in my knees and nervous laugh. I had my bag off my shoulder ready to swing at any dog that got too close.

I also made a fire only using hot coals and damp wood and paper!

On Thursday morning I walked to _______ where my vols were eagerly awaiting my arrival hoping for letters from home. The girls there have done a great job adapting to the weather. Mornings are beautiful and sunny (in general) and by 12 or 1 it is cloudy, rainy and COLD. The girls have gone from crying to go home everyday to building a great relationship with their host family and are now being invited my more families to eat lunch at their houses. They even made pizza on sunday in a house that has an oven - unfortunately they spent that night vomiting it back up. But they said it was worth it. Nothing too exciting happened in ______ this week other than platano colada and french fries with a fired egg for breakfast...and recieving some religious magazines from a missionary because I haven't read the bible yet... :-) Oh wait...the COLD was the most exciting thing that happened. It was crazy cold. Props to my vols that are living there for 7 weeks!

Friday! I got my butt out of cold _____ and during the hike up to _______ could feel my feet and comfortably wiggle my toes for the first time in 2 days! The families and the volunteers are doing great and love each other a lot. I was able to go to the last few minutes of the campamento and see the art the kids were doing. It was pretty amazing for such little kids. We played some silly games outside after the kids were done drawing and I almost died laughing. We also provided excellent entertainment for the adults who were gathering for a community meeting. I havent heard people laugh that hard since I got here (excluding those of us that live in staff house).

And Saturday! I finally showered and do not stink like cooking fire, sheep, wet feet and whatever else I smelled and felt like.

I love you all! I'm sending hugs and kisses and will eat plenty of guacamole for you in the next three days before the next route week begins.

Here are some other fun comments:
About the bus:.....Taking the bus is always a fun adventure, especially because no one ever believes I really want to get off where I ask to get off.
About cooking:......Cooking has been an excellent way to connect with the women. I also learned to crochet (very poorly). It provides incredible amusement to all the girls and women who have been helping me along.

Aren't you all jealous of her experience? I am!!!! Love love love this girl, and MISS HER SO MUCH!

Black Power's Gonna Get You Sucka: Right-Wing Paranoia and the Rhetoric of Modern Racism

2010-07-15T22:09:00.001-05:00

Black Power's Gonna Get You Sucka: Right-Wing Paranoia and the Rhetoric of Modern Racism

This is for me and mine - because I'm going to need to go back to this time and time again. I can find it easily here - my
blog is like a bookmark :-)

(I don't care much about the political rhetoric, but I do care about the data that Wise provides in example after example)

Reading Racism Right to Left: Reflections on a Powerful Word and Its Applications

2010-07-15T21:37:00.001-05:00

Reading Racism Right to Left: Reflections on a Powerful Word and Its Applications

Read this.
Worth it.
Long.
Critical thinking is necessary.
Open mind is a must.
Own it.
Change yourself.
Commit.

Ice cream sundaes just arrived in our home (Thank you Mr. Silly Pants!)- nothing like a little sweet creaminess to add to the reading experience.

Songbird's Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-14T10:03:00.001-05:00

Ecuador 2010

Wordless Wednesday: Blue's Boat

2010-07-07T08:13:00.001-05:00

Blue, Clementine, and Twinkletoes on a perfect day!

A message for Songbird

2010-07-05T16:23:00.000-05:00

Sunday Snapshot: Black Lion Hospital Room

2010-07-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

Mr. Silly Pants said, "this is one of the nicer rooms at Black Lion Hospital."

The White Mind

2010-07-01T22:05:00.000-05:00

My little boy loves to read. I'm happy about that. I have TONS of books from the biggies - our bookshelves are packed with oldies but goodies. But this go-round is different. I've allways believed it is important for my children (and all children) to read books with characters from all places and of all colors. But I gotta say, I "see" books differently with Blueberry - I "see" the images of the characters with such a keen eye. My "white eye" just won't tolerate the reality that my son is going to struggle to see himself in our literate lives.

Tonight I read this fabulous piece by Anne Sibley O'Brien. Anne is a children's book writer and illustrator. She writes a blog, too. She introduces her notion of the White Mind as "the patterns formed by white American socialization...I do not mean conscious prejudice or racist attitudes. It is not what you believe, what you intend, the values you are committed to or how you choose to behave. I’m speaking instead of the unconscious patterns that result from social conditioning as the dominant and majority race in the U.S."

Bingo! You MUST read this piece - she really gets the ideas of white privilege, of the normativeness of white culture, and the struggles that children of color have in locating themselves in literature. I feel so lucky to be amidst people who get it - who see it - who strive to do the work to reflect ALL of our children to the world.

For real, I needed this tonight. I had a helluva day the other day chasing down a seriously ill-informed person and rallying my allies to help me respond in an instructive and gentle way - district stuff - again. So head shaking frustration welcomes Anne Sibley O'Brien into my white mind.

When you are done reading about The White Mind, follow up with this post on her blog. If I hear, "there is only one race, the human race" one more time, I might scream. Screaming doesn't work. Yeah. Not good. I'm working hard to really understand, "I don't know what I don't know." Someone shared that thought with me and it has helped me be a more patient and a more generous anti-racist advocate.

Now I'm going to buy some books, because I want Anne Sibley O'Brien to publish more and more!

Two Left Feet

2010-06-30T09:48:00.000-05:00

This morning Blueberry ran downstairs with a plan in mind. He quickly reemerged and handed these shoes to Twinkletoes with this statement, "here, put these on and go outside with me. We play soccer?" Noone would ever accuse Twinkletoes of having two left feet (she's an amazing ballroom dancer). But, here is the proof - two left feet.

Smile.

Honduras Bound

2010-06-28T17:52:00.001-05:00

This guy, my number one son, left today for 7 weeks. He'll be in Honduras. You can read about the program here and here. And, if you are a regular reader, you've already seen an update from Songbird's arrival in Ecuador with the same youth volunteer program (but in her case she's doing the job of supervisor, while kids Waffle's age are the volunteers).

I love this kid. He's got the greatest smile, a sense of humor that brings the house alive, and an openness and kind-heartedness that is...well...it's impressive. I'm excited to see this young man in 7 weeks; see him with THIS experience informing more of his "becoming." Transformative is the word I'm thinking will describe this experience for him. I can't wait for the stories and the pictures.

The sweetest parts of his departure were two-fold. First, Waffles and Blueberry had me in tears in the car as they made some iphone videos to watch during his absence. We learned this is a great trick for Blue's 'missings' - sibs and 'honorary sibs' (Schwartz from Finland and now Flower from Hungary) come and go a lot in this household, so we try to find ways for Blueberry to make sense of our revolving door, and to trust in the permanence of his siblings in his life. So, Waffles made the videos with Blueberry and they made me cry. I'm keeping them to ourselves - Blue gets them without outside eyes.

Then there was this discussion as Blue and I left the airport:

Blue: Where's Waffles Mommy?

Me: He went on the airplane to Honduras. Remember? We just kissed him bye-bye.

Blue: Noooooooooooo, I want to go too. I go on airplane to Honduras!

Me: I'm sorry Blue, you're going to Washington with Mommy and Daddy the next time you get on an airplane. Waffles is going to Honduras to work, just like Songbird went to Ecuador too.

Blue: What Waffles doin' in Honduras Mommy?

Me: He's going to live in the mountains and spend time with some kids and speak Spanish and help them with hard working.

Blue: Nooooooooooooooooo, I want to go Honduras too and speak Spanish!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo, my foot hurts! Ohhhhhhhhhh noooooooo, I need Waffles here right now to kiss my foot! Ohhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo, where my Waffles? I need my foot kissing NOW! Come back here Waffles!

A Hungary Addition

2010-06-24T16:44:00.001-05:00

In late August one precious little Hungarian girl will join our family for a semester of middle school. We are so excited to see Flower (her blog name)! In the accompanying photo she's the sweet little girl with the red star above her head.. Flower is about 8 in this picture, but she'll be 12 and in 7th grade when she arrives this August. She's our "Hungarian Addition." There is a lot I would like to share about this little girl and her family....

First, the women in this photo are among the most amazing people I know! Big sister, with the purple arrow, will accompany Flower here and stay for a delicious 3 weeks! Twinkletoes is her age mate - and believe me when I tell you these 19 year old's have plans! Other older sister is Songbird's age mate (21 years old). She won't make this trip, but I can assure you we'll be working on a way to get her here for a visit. One remaining older brother remains in Hungary too - he's 23 and busy with his University studies. I'm pretty sure his playmates from his youth now strike him as beautiful young women ... *grin*

You can guess how their relationships began 14 years ago in an elementary school classroom. Language was NO barrier for these girls....and it hasn't been ever since! While the Hungarians lived here for 2 years, we've been friends beyond the boundaries of our countries and beyond those initial 2 years. Our friendship has included a journey of my daughters solo to Hungary when they were 11 and 13, a return visit from Hungarian "daughters" at ages 15 and 17, and a very special 'all family' trip to Hungary years ago. I often claim that the wanderlust of my girls first began in earnest with that first solo trip to Hungary - they walked a lot of dogs, did a lot of babysitting, and saved a lot of allowances to make that first trip. This picture is from that trip - it's the "ice cream photo." Our family trip was son Waffle's first international journey - and I think his wanderlust rightfully began then too.

Flower was born in the USA in 1998 when her family was living here. She's a citizen - it's what is making her visit/stay with us possible. She'll attend our neighborhood middle school, enjoy the beautiful piano with Mr. SillyPants, play a little outdoor soccer, and perhaps we'll get her to our favorite vacation spot for a little California lovin'. Flower also comes to us with loss, and it is my greatest hope to honor the memory of her mom, my beloved friend and one who I miss every single day, by being a loving and tender 'host mom' to her. Being with Flower is a gift - a way I can honor the vast and enduring ways I love her mom.

There is another little one in Hungary, Violet. She and Blueberry are age mates too! Her mom and I laughingly shared that little itty bitties were going to be in our lives well into our 40's - before we actually knew who they were.....so I imagine that Blue and Violet will grow up friends with biggie siblings and lots and lots of opportunities to know each other.

Our lives are blessed with richness. We are so excited to welcome Flower!

Songbird's First Pictures from the Field (Ecuador)

2010-06-22T08:09:00.002-05:00

Ecuador - Songbird Chat

2010-06-21T22:14:00.004-05:00

I had the chance to 'chat' with our darling Songbird tonight on Facebook. Who knew? FB is delightfully dangerous :-)
(Ecuador 2010)

Here is some background on Songbird's connection to Ecuador: Songbird was an exchange student in Ecuador her senior year of high school. She had an amazingly challenging year - and so the 'appointment' to Ecuador for her Amigos summer was a mixed bag for her; a chance to reframe Ecuador in a new way but also a challenge because of existing connections and some emotional baggage. Going into her application, she knew there was a good chance Amigos might want her in Ecuador - she knew she has some cultural capital that would work well in their 'new' Ecuador program. She's a perfect fit there, for sure. I was already proud of the way she had sorted out her feelings and anticipated what did become a reality for her - a summer in Ecuador.

But, let me share, this kid is a warrior of the BEST KIND. Her official work with high school volunteers starts tomorrow. At the moment she has been out in the communities learning their needs, identifying their community sponsored programs, and anticipating how she can support both the communities and their youth volunteers. Here is a peek for our blog reading Songbird fans of the best parts of our FB chat --- Songbird fans, I know you're out there!

She said this about seeing her high school year host mom and dad in Quito:
"...it was really nice to see her and Manuel...he saw me and was like "Songbird que gusto - eres flaquita!"

I asked her, "are you falling in love with Ecuador anew?" She said, " Its going to be fun coming home with so many stories! My communities are so high up! Yeah, they are awesome, sort of difficult sometimes because the culture IS so different. but I think I've figured out the ins...All I have to do is go out with the sheep and help shell ava beans :-)"

I responded: "I am so happy for your chance to reconnect and recreate a new reality for yourself there -
it makes me extra proud of how brave and courageous and forgiving you are."

She laughed and told me: "Yeah...the sheep. I'll come back home a good shepherd!"

You know what, I bet she will! Here are a few details about her life in Ecuador:

The first language of her communities is Kichwa
She's working in 3 communities
Elevation is 4200 meters
Everyone eats lots of potatoes, ava beans and rice
People go to bed about 8 pm when the sun goes down and get up at 5 am when the sun comes up
She can buy about 6 avacadoes for $2 and is cooking some awesome local flavors

Fun. Fun. Fun.
(Ecuador 2010)

I miss this amazing daughter of mine, and I love her anywhere and everywhere

she travels and works as she lives her lovely life.

Father's Day

2010-06-20T23:16:00.001-05:00

Mr. Sillypants, once again, taking a moment to wrap up an interesting Father's Day 2010. Many thoughts have been bouncing around my somewhat smallish and thick skull today, many of them relating to fatherhood and my own father.

My day started out with an absolutely sublime moment when Blueberry came into our bedroom with a card in his hand, stating happily, "For *you*, Daddy." In it was a moving bit of prose from Ms. Plum's hand, tender, powerful words which warmed that innermost part of me. (Also a source of warmth was Blue's inability to remember the previously well-rehearsed "Happy Father's Day", even with tons of prompting from my beloved Ms. Plum.) Watching Blueberry's quizzical look after repeated lead-in's from Ms. Plum was worth it; it is a wonderful image I won't soon forget.

However, today, in other ways, was kind of tough. Perhaps it was the flood of memories which came to me repeatedly throughout the day, memories of my own beloved father who exited this mortal coil in 1993 at the young age of 60. I think that Blueberry's presence in my life has certainly made me so much more aware of my own father's uniqueness, his qualities, his sacrifice and his enduring place in my heart.

Also, my beloved Ms. Plum and I had a rough day in other ways. As any of you in relationship know, there are days when things just get a bit off kilter and you spend the rest of the day just not quite finding a way to reconnect. (Rest assured, we are fine - - - we just had a rough day.) However, there were a few terse moments, as well as a few instances where teeth were gritted and heads were shaken slowly, side to side, as we worked our way through a day which all of us (I'd imagine) have experienced at one time or another.

So, it was an interesting Father's Day.

My father was a Lutheran pastor, a man of faith and warmth and smiles, quick with laughter, slow with judgement. He was steady, loving, constant, humble, hard-working; he loved to fish like no other man I have ever met. (If possible, he would go to his favorite steelhead stream every morning at 5am, throwing the fish in the back of his Datsun sedan as he rushed home to get cleaned up before heading to church.)

As a father, he was imperfect, like any of us. He made mistakes, like any of us. Yet, we never doubted his love for us, never doubted that he counted us as among his greatest blessings.

He was a preacher, of course, and loved to give "pearls" whenever he could. Some of those have stayed with me to this day (and probably will be part of me for the rest of my life.) Perhaps my favorite is, "It is better to err on the side of love than the side of judgement." I think of that advice whenever I am trying to figure out my best response when I feel slighted or misunderstood or wronged.

Dad and I had the typical teenage moments, times when I was trying to stretch my wings and he was trying to rein me in. He was fond of Mark Twain's line, "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

Then, when I was a bit older, in my 20's, Dad used to pull me aside everytime I traveled home. Somehow, he and I would end up in a car or a boat together (usually the latter), alone, so he could "tell me a few things." These "things" were always the same: how much he loved me, how proud of me he was, how he was so happy that I was making my way, how he felt blessed to have "this family", and so on.

The first time this happened, I was so overwhelmed I could barely speak. I mean, I *knew* my father felt this way, but hearing it somehow made it more REAL, made it a memory which I could draw upon. (This scenario actually played out, essentially unchanged, many times over the subsequent years, so much so that my sisters and I used to laugh about it privately, saying, "I just want to tell Dad, 'OK! I get it! You love me!!!'.")

Then, in 1993, I came home to the news that my Dad had collapsed suddenly, without warning, while standing in line at JFK airport in NYC. We think he died of a blood clot after he and my mom took at trans-Atlantic flight home. He was 60 years old, and I remember thinking that I had no idea he would be gone from my life so soon.

Now, I cherish every one of those moments when he cut me away from the rest of the herd so he could tell me he loved me, and, frankly, I can even replay them in my mind whenever I am down and need a "pick me up." What seemed awkward at the time has become a source of strength and assurance for me. As I thought of these moments in the months after his death, I realize how brilliant he was, to make sure I never doubted how he felt about me.

I made a vow that I would never be silent about my love for those who are close to me.

Tonight, after a somewhat bumpy day, I went into Blueberry's room (as I do every night) and pulled his covers over him, pulled the books out from underneath him, repositioned his stuffed animals and then said, "Blueberry (ok, I used his real name), I love you and am so proud to be your daddy."

I came into our bedroom and observed my beloved Ms. Plum, getting ready for a well-deserved night's sleep. The tension of bumping heads throughout the day was still hanging in the air, and I was pretty certain that we could pick up where we left off, if given a chance. Weighing the myriad of things which I could have said after a somewhat challenging day (for both of us), I looked her straight in the eyes and said, simply: "I love you."

In that way, my Father's Day 2010 ended well.

Dad, there are many things you have left with me. Certainly, you taught me what it is to be a good father. You taught me to err on the side of love rather than the side of judgement. And, you taught me how important it is that all of the people close to me know how much I love them. This is, perhaps, the greatest legacy, one which I will try to fulfill and also teach Blueberry as he grows up.

Thank you, my beloved Dad. And, Happy Father's Day.

Juneteenth

2010-06-19T22:31:00.002-05:00

Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated holiday - on this day we celebrate the ending of slavery in the U.S. It is African American Emancipation Day. Let me be honest, I have not ever paid attention to Juneteenth. I haven't ever been to a Juneteenth event. I haven't ever known how it is celebrated nor have I been aware of Juneteenth celebrations in my own community. As a social studies teacher I know about Juneteenth, but I haven't ever made it my own. I'm not making a stretch saying this, but, like many white folks, I just didn't pay attention or make this day important. Blueberry has changed this.

Today, Mr. SillyPants, Blueberry, and I headed over to a local park to celebrate Juneteenth with our community. I am going to write these next pieces with great humility and honesty - I hope I do this part justice...

When Mr. SillyPants and I were figuring out the pace of today and I mentioned the Juneteenth event, which I had read about in one of our local papers - I knew it was happening, where, when, and the outline of events. I noted the event was scheduled at a park located in the "heart of South _____" (our most diverse neighborhood in our community). How shall I say this? I felt some discomfort coming on as I was contemplating heading over to celebrate Juneteenth - and I've been training myself to recognize this discomfort (it's my racist horn blasting) and to head right into the discomfort with full awareness and action. Yeah, so the discomfort alone nailed the day's plans - we went to the Juneteenth celebration.

In our community we live in a neighborhood that is mostly white (nearly all white). Our neighborhood schools are diverse (the result of bussing), but our daily home life reflects majority/ middle upper class white. I get that - and I get the ways my son doesn't see himself reflected in our daily lives unless WE MAKE THAT HAPPEN. Part of our commitment to him, and to ourselves, is to make our way to places and spaces where he sees himself reflected around him. Music, art, food, fun, faces, dress....I want him to see himself. I want him to know he belongs everywhere in the world. (These are things I NEVER deliberately considered with the biggies/ I thought about their belonging in a different way).

My chameleon charms aren't so "chameleon-ish" when I'm in a space that is nearly all African American. I'm eating huge pieces of humble pie in these places. I feel my whiteness. Here's the thing, I feel my whiteness like my students of color, like my friends of color, like my colleagues of color, tell me they feel their blackness EVERY single day they leave their homes and their neighborhoods and head out into majority spaces (um...I'm talking MOST spaces). So I got a dose of this (from my place of privilege). And I felt uncomfortable - or maybe it was aware - or maybe it was outnumbered - or maybe it was without the cultural skills I needed to make connections instantly and easily. Hear what I'm saying?

So damn good for me. But this isn't about me. It's about Blueberry. We listened to some spoken word poetry, some praise hip-hop, some hip-hop, watched some awesome double dutch, and a step competition, and then we wrapped it up with some youth hoops. My African American boy was interested. He soaked it in from the comfort of our arms and shoulders or swinging inbetween our holding hands.

Next year? We're back for more. I'm going to do better for him. One step is embracing my discomfort and heading right into it. Because he needs this and I signed up for it...with him.

Mulberry Friday

2010-06-18T17:44:00.001-05:00

The annual ripening of the mulberry tree always reminds me of the biggies and their California cousins. Every summer the kids would grab buckets and walk to the park to this very tree to pick loads of mulberry's, swat at mosquitoes, and avoid the raspberry thorns. The tradition continues except that now I live right next to the mighty mulberry tree. We'll make a pie soon - mulberry and clove pie - just like Mom did for all those years. Vanilla ice cream is a mandatory addition.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-16T13:53:00.000-05:00

Addis Ababa debrief

2010-06-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

It's been a few days since my return from Addis Ababa and I find that my mind is still filled with a myriad of details. As I write this "debrief" of my trip, I am hoping these remembrances of Ethiopia will stay with me indefinitely.

Mr. Sillypants here, hoping to share a few more thoughts related to my experiences at Addis Ababa University. I've been home two days, long enough to bask in the sublime joys of Ms. Plum, Blueberry, Twinkletoes and our absolutely wild Golden Doodle, but not long enough to completely throw off my jetlag.

To say that our trip was fulfilling is a huge understatement. I went with three other doctors, numbering two Family Physicians and one Pediatrician. I was the sole physician from a local non-profit cooperative while the other three are faculty at University of Madison in Wisconsin. We three Family Physicians were teach Advanced Life Support in Obstetrics (ALSO) whereas our pediatrician taught Neonatal Resuscitation for Providers (NRP). (That's it for the accounting phase of this post, I promise.)

I've talked about the great skill of the obstetricians and midwives in Ethiopia in previous posts. However, it really can't be understated; these providers in Ethiopia are very skilled and very dedicated. They work amazingly long hours for days on end in surroundings which most Western physicians would refuse. Yet, they work on, day after day, answering the call.

Frankly, the numbers are simply staggering:

- in the US, 99.5% of women delivery babies under the care of a medical professional;

- in Mexico, the percentage falls slightly to 96%;

- worldwide, women are under the care of a medical professional during childbirth about 60% of the time;

- in Ethiopia, it takes place a dismal 5% of the time.

Said another way, only 1 in 20 deliveries occur with a trained medical professional at hand. That includes general practictioners, obstetricians or midwives. It is no wonder why Ethiopia ranks as 6th worst in neonatal mortality. Their training is excellent; they simply don't have enough people to meet the need.

However, the overworked, overstressed medical professionals still do what they can, putting in long hours for weeks on end to try and "stem the tide."

Frankly, I am overwhelmed by the enormity of the medical need in Ethiopia. Yet, the people we worked with are generous, hopeful and pragmatic, doing what they can, day by day.

The physicians and midwives we worked with were very happy to have tools which they, in turn, will teach to others to help meet the need for trained medical professionals in Ethiopia. They listened intently, eagerly participated in lectures and workshops, asked excellent and thought-provoking questions and then left AAU, returning to their communities to try again and "stem the tide."

These people are heroes.

I arrived home to gaze upon my beloved Ms. Plum, feeling my heart skip a beat as she came into view. I felt my knees go weak as Blueberry said, "Hi Daddy!" in the happiest voice I have ever heard. I had a moment to reflect, once again, on the mysteries and blessings that I still take for granted each and every day.

I thought about the miracle of Blueberry and countless other children who are equally miraculous, starting life and somehow surviving and even thriving against all odds. I thought of those who are not so fortunate, who don't survive, whose families experience heartache and loss, whose suffering could possibly be averted if the world's resources and priviledge were distributed in a fair manner.

I think of the medical people in Ethiopia, who learn what they can and find a way to return to their labors, hoping they will continue to make a difference in a place of poverty and need. And, I think that I have a lot to learn about service to others.

About Africa....the warped Western lens

2010-06-15T07:58:00.000-05:00

Read this article for some really well researched and thoughtful discussion on the monolithic, primitivist perspective of Africa as represented by the Houston Zoo. It's worth a careful read and reflection.

Sunday Snapshots

2010-06-13T15:43:00.002-05:00

Los Frailes

Cajas National Park

Los Frailes-"we just saw a snake face"

Ecuador June 2010

ALSO in Addis #4

2010-06-09T22:59:00.003-05:00

I received this message while sitting in a HUGE traffic jam on my way to present information from the White Privilege Conference to my school board. I sat and read. What a treat. Once again, I'm copying and pasting. Mr. SillyPants is burning the candle at both ends - this gig is completely engrossing for him. Read.

We had a very emotional and fulfilling day today; this was the day that we certified instructors for the ALSO course and prepared them for their presentations tomorrow to a new group of students. It was a long and arduous day, with examinations lasting until the mid-evening. However, the success of the training was quite evident and we realized that this program we are teaching will undoubtedly make a difference.

Ethiopia unfortunately ranks as the 6th worst in terms of infant mortality worldwide. Infants are 1000 times more likely to die in childbirth here than in the United States. This is not due to the quality of training here; in fact, the obstetricians, general practitioners and midwives here are VERY well trained. As we taught our curriculum, we could see constant nodding (not due to sleepiness but *understanding*!). These medical providers KNOW this stuff.

The problem is one of access to healthcare. There are more Ethiopian doctors in Chicago or Los Angeles than there are in all of Ethiopia. Stated another way, there are 2000 physicians in Ethiopia, serving 80 million people. That's one doctor for every 40,000 people (consider THAT when you think about scheduling your next doctor's appointment).

At the end of today's training, providers thanked us, with teary eyes, for presenting a system which could be easily taught in areas throughout Ethiopia; that, actually is the goal of the ALSO course - - - providing a learnable curriculum which can be used in a variety of settings. Many of the attendees voiced their plans to implement and teach this curriculum in their communities as soon as possible.

This was emotional and overwhelming to me, in fact, it took me to the point of tears. (Those who know me understand I'm a little emotional, anyway). I was so moved because I realized the enormity of the need here in Ethiopia. And, I was humbled by the fact that there is so much that I take for granted.

My hope and prayer is that these talented and committed providers here in Ethiopia will have new tools to "make a difference."

So, the other reason I'm really wound up is that Richard and I finally had a chance to meet. I didn't get back to the Hilton until 9pm, but Richard took a long cab to come to the Hilton for a drink. (He had Coke, I had a somewhat grainy and disappointing Merlot). We talked for nearly two hours and, frankly,he had me choked up a few times.

Richard, who calls himself "our son", is doing very well. I think he was initially quite worried about misleading us, in fact, he apologized again and again for saying he was in medical school when, in fact, he only qualified for nursing school. Of course, as you probably already know, my response was that you and I were so proud of him and were not angry at all. In fact, I told him that we understood why he thought we might be "disappointed" but wished, instead, that he had realized we would be as happy with his admission to nursing school as to medical school.

He was visibly relieved, but he felt the need to apologize over and over.

He was also so FUNNY - - - I think he felt the need to "prove" that he was doing well in school. When he heard I was here teaching obstetrics, he interrupted me to say, "Oh yes! We are learning about first stage, second stage and third stage of labor, plus the problems with descent of the fetus and bleeding and other complications of pregnancy." (Truthfully, he KNOWS this stuff. I have no doubt that he is doing well in his classes - - -he again demonstrated his hard work.)

Perhaps the most moving moment was when he stated that he realizes that he is "lucky to receive this gift of education"; he said that "most people in my country never have this chance - - - this is a great responsibility to me, to give back to my country in any way I can." I responded with one of the only Amharic words I know: "Ishi". (I understand.).

I told Richard that we were "so happy to be a small part of his success"; however, I think that the major part of his success is his determination, his skill and his motivation to "do good in Ethiopia." (his words).

Through a short, two-week trip to Ethiopia, we met Richard, Getnet, Getu, Alemtsehaye, and, of course, our amazing Blueberry, and these connecttions have changed us forever. For our family, the sponsorship of Richard, Getnet and Getu is but a small inconvenience. In fact, I doubt we ever feel the "pinch" of their requirements. (Our support of our 2 kids in college takes much more planning - - - yes?). Yet, I see what a difference this small contribution makes in the lives of our good friends here in Ethiopia.
It is late in Addis Ababa - I must say 'goodnight' and leave additional details for another e-mail/blog post.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-09T07:31:00.000-05:00

ALSO in Addis #3

2010-06-08T12:26:00.003-05:00

Mr. SillyPants sent a love letter, with a promise of a blog post tomorrow. I culled some sweet details including:

... I miss our son so much. My attachment to him is so profound and so deep that I am truly experiencing a new type of longing when I am away from him. (Being in the land of his birth doesn't help alleviate that at all.)

However, this trip has been wonderful and I am so happy with how things are turning out. We finished our first class today, graduating about 80% of the class (which is a very high percentage when ALSO is taught in a developing country). I think we have a great team for teaching but the main reason for the high graduation rate is the excellence of the physicians, residents and midwives here.

Tomorrow, we begin the instructor's training then on to letting them teach a new class on Thursday and Friday.

I am also hoping we can do more shopping soon - - - I haven't yet found a 108" tablecloth and need to also look for coffee, Addis tea, berbere, and a map. I got a few nice baskets already, as well as a carved lion for Blueberry (as Ethiopia is known as the Lion of Judah). (An addition by Ms. Plum - of course I sent my A+ shopper husband a shopping list!).

I personally look forward to hearing more details from Mr. SillyPants. He's typically quite verbose, so the days must be long and intense. I am also happy to report his gastro-upset didn't last and he's feeling good. I wish him a good night's sleep and sweet dreams. I'll enjoy posting tomorrow's news!

ALSO in Addis #2

2010-06-07T17:14:00.003-05:00

Here are some comments from a personal e-mail - I suspect Mr. SillyPants is a little too fatigued to write a formal "Day 2" post. And, he conveyed he has a little stomach ache, so I'll take the initiative and post a few of his observations:

......I'm just finished with our first day here. I am bushed after teaching two sessions (labor dystocia and third trimester bleeding) then proctered an "OB cases" session in the afternoon. Everything went really well and, let me tell you - - - these obstetricians and midwives KNOW their stuff. The OB staff who were here were right with us, no matter what we were teaching and the majority of midwives were able to assimilate the new material easily and quickly.

All in all, I'm very impressed with the knowledge level of the OB staff and midwives here. There are lots of challenges here with regards to healthcare but they don't include training or knowledge, ....

Access to healthcare, well, that's another problem.

Tomorrow is more of the same, with another lecture, two skills sessions and our testing program. Then, we meet with future instructors on Wednesday.

Speaking of Wednesday, I am meeting with Richard Wednesday night - - - we had a dinner tonight and tomorrow, so Wednesday was the first available opportunity. I called Richard and he sounded very happy to meet that night. I am truly looking forward to it. I will look forward to seeing Richard again to catch up with him and also to reassure him in his efforts.

Well, that is it for now. It is 10pm and I'm going to head off to bed. More work tomorrow.

(Edited by Ms. Plum to add: Richard is a student we sponsor. He's enrolled at Central University, where he is studying nursing. When we started his sponsorship, we believed he was pre-med. We have since learned, through our own checks and balances system, that he is studying nursing. We haven't had a change of heart regarding our support of him, and I think we all learned a lesson, mediated through one of our doctor friends at AAU. You can read about the students we help here and how we organize that help here. I saved y'all his mushy lovin' stuff - I'm keeping that to myself).

ALSO in Addis #1

2010-06-06T21:02:00.002-05:00

I'm normally someone who has no difficulty with words (just ask the rest of the family), however, I'm actually having difficulty finding the right way to get this blog post started. Go figure.

Mr. Sillypants here, writing from beautiful Addis Ababa. I arrived yesterday after an extended but uneventful flight from Chicago through Frankfurt, Germany. I am here with two other physicians to teach a course in high risk obstetrics; this is part of a program through University of Wisconsin which is working to establish Emergency Medicine here in Ethiopia. And, frankly, I'm honored to be here, part of this effort.

You would think that my mind is filled with anticipation of the two lectures I'm giving tomorrow or the "skill stations" I'll be proctering; certainly, these things are part of my thoughts right now. However, the majority of my consciousness is filled with the swirling of emotions inside of me after again experiencing the richness of this country, of these people, this history, this community.

When we came to Ethiopia to adopt our beautiful Blueberry, we had a week in country to learn a bit about the land of his birth, his heritage, his people. I think I was unprepared for the powerful feelings which arose within me as we had a chance to experience the unique qualities of this land. I knew I would be overwhelmed from the moment we met our beloved Blue; I had no idea I would be so moved by the people we met and the things we experienced.

Well, things have picked up right were they left off. We did a little sightseeing today, visiting the Trinity Church in Addis which is home to Haile Selassie's tomb; we also visited a museum and a marketplace. It was a nice overview of some of the "must see" attractions here in Addis Ababa. I experienced again the glorious history of this devout land, was able to experience some amazing Ethiopian food and smiled as two youths tried (unsuccessfully) to keep their donkey out of the middle of the road on a busy thoroughfare.

However, what is again so evident to me is the sense of community which exists here in Ethiopia. There is not so much "me" as there is a "we." Our host at the Trinity Church spoke quietly and reverently about the history of the building, of their faith, of their country. Youths care for their younger siblings, playing happily in all manner of games (we saw two teenagers playing "football" with another boy who couldn't have been more than 8 - - - they exhorted and praised their younger counterpart even though they could have easily embarrased him with their superior strength and skill.)

The sense of community here is overwhelming. The people here understand what is truly important.

I'm reminded of something which Leo Buscaglia quotes in his book, 'Love': "We have never been closer yet each of us are dying of loneliness." Isn't this the case? Email, cellphones, texting, cars, planes, Skype, instant messaging . . . it has never been so easy to stay in touch. Yet, our lives are often dominated by things which give no lasting benefit.

We have much to learn from the beautiful Ethiopian people - - - prime on the list is their understanding of what is truly lasting and vitally important.

Bole Bound

2010-06-04T16:32:00.001-05:00

Mr. SillyPants left this morning for Ethiopia. He is joining a team of physicians from UW-Madison to teach the ALSO (Advanced Life Support and Obstetrics) program to some physicians at Black Lion Hospital. They, in turn, will teach it to others. It's a classic sustainable model --- one that brings in docs from the US and then allows for teaching the program using cultural models of understanding at the local level. Thus, for 2 days Mr. SillyPants (and 3 others) will teach, and for 3 days they will shadow the newly instructed ALSO teachers. Gotta love it. The vision of this program is first rate (says the cultural anthropologist - moi!).

I'm going to let Mr. SillyPants give the details about this training and the vision this training brings to establishing an Emergency Medicine program to the Medical School in Addis Ababa. I talked a little about this program and how we became involved here on our blog. But, there is a more formal explanation here and here.

So, today our main man left for Bole Airport. I am so proud of him. I know he brings his dynamic intellect, his sensitive spirit, and his adoration of our Ethiopian born son to the work that he is about to embark upon. I know our missing is mutual. I know this is what we do - and I know why we do it. I feel so incredibly lucky to be with this man while we do these things together as a family. This is our canvas - and we're paintin' it!

Finally, we'll have the treat of having him as our "guest blogger" for the next week, providing details arrive by e-mail as he journals his adventure (which may NOT include regular power availablity in Addis). Godspeed my love!

Wordless Wednesday (a day late): In Honor Of Traveling Sisters!

2010-06-03T08:00:00.001-05:00

*and they're off to Ecuador this time*

Why we do this

2010-05-29T20:45:00.001-05:00

Mr. Sillypants here, taking a few moments away from my coffee-making duties to add a few comments to my lovely wife's description of our Apple Store experience (detailed oh so beautifully below).

I've had a chance to reflect on today's outing, both before and after it took place. I think it's fair to say that each of us felt that kaliedoscope of swirling emotions beforehand - - - anticipation of the upcoming experience, excitement about the chance to make a statement about Conflict Free legislation, commitment to the idea of raising awareness of the unspeakable horrors which are commonplace to those innocents living in these war-torn areas of conflict . . .

I know I was also nervous about what kind of reaction we'd receive; I wondered if the store manager would be callous or dismissive, I wondered what reaction (if any) we'd receive from patrons or passersby. As you have likely read already, our experience was very positive, and I find myself even more energized about the chance to do more, to make the most of those opportunities which are all around me.

In the short amount of time since my lovely Ms. Plum suggested and organized this effort (and served as our cheerleader and guide), I've had a chance to reflect a bit more, some of which occurred while our amazing Blueberry was running and jumping with wild abandon at the local splash park:

(Photo courtesy of Ms. Plum)

Since our outing this morning, I've had many chances to reflect of the amazing richness which has come into my life, largely because of the efforts and passion of those of you who share this global consciousness. Although I celebrate daily the fire, compassion and sense of social responsibility which is a way of life for Ms. Plum, those of you who carry out these good works in your daily lives, who post powerful and often heartbreaking commentary on the work which is yet to be done, who offer guidance, support and perspective, well, you should know that your passion and fire is an inspiration to us, as well.

Truly, we are better in our lives because of the things you do in yours. Thank you for this.

When Songbird and I got in the car after our trip to the Apple Store, we wondered aloud what would become of our letter to Steve Jobs - - - would it actually be "sent on to the appropriate people," or would it end up in the recycling bin as soon as the store manager saw us leave? (For the record, I have a sense he'll send it on, just like he promised.) Songbird and I both discussed our hope that "something good would come out of it."

Truthfully, "something good has already happened." This effort has given me yet another opportunity to think about something bigger than my silly little life, something much more vital than the endless chores which face me every day or even the endless joy from mornings spent kicking a soccer ball with Blueberry. This trip to the Apple Store caused me to set my sights again on suffering, on inequality, on priviledge - - - and on my responsibility to do what I can to change it, by doing the work I can each and every day.

So, even if our letter never makes it to Steve Jobs, the impact of our effort has been felt and my life has changed. And, my life continues to change whenever I hear of *your* efforts, *your* good works.

Mother Teresa once said, "We can do no great things. We can only do small things with great love." Let us all continue to search for and act on those small moments, every day, when we can make a difference.

1 penny a day to "Guarantee Conflict Free"

2010-05-29T14:13:00.005-05:00

We're a pretty typical family. I got up this morning, urged my husband to please make coffee as quickly as possible, cuddled my little boy, sent the dog down to wake up the soccer playing biggie, and watered my hanging baskets on the front porch while wearing my bathrobe. I made pancakes for biggie boy who was heading out early for a soccer tournament, said "yes" to one daughter's request to borrow the car for the morning, and directed another daughter's efforts to find a sleeping bag for her upcoming travels. I checked my morning e-mail, ate a bowl of Puffins cereal, and filled the dishwasher. I think I probably tossed a load of laundry in the washing machine and I took the clothes off the line that had stayed there overnight. My husband did much of the same; he made the coffee, poured the coffee, repoured the coffee when I mentioned the mug he gave me had a cracked handle, took the dog out for a morning round of "catch the frisbee", filled the bird feeders, and supervised the pouring of syrup on the little one's pancake. He rinsed out a very dirty garbage can, helped our little boy put water in the wading pool, and I think he played a little soccer with our 'up and at 'em' tiniest son.

But we're also a family who has made a commitment to care about the things we care about in the fullest ways we can. We're a family fighting for social justice. We can't act on all of our cares (believe me, we have many), but we do make it a point to dedicate ourselves fully to being the best stewards we can for those things we know and care about. Sometimes we do a better job than other times. Today was one of those days we did a pretty good job.

Last year Mr. SillyPants, Blueberry, and I met the fabulous Tami in Chicago and participated in Lisa Shannon's Run for Congo Women. I wrote about the event here. Lisa Shannon has been an inspiration to families like mine all over the country--- families who work for social justice and who work to be good global neighbors.

Today we answered Lisa's call to action and visited our local APPLE store to deliver a letter to Steve Jobs asking him to support Conflict Minerals Trade Act HR.4128 AS WRITTEN (see letter). We felt like our support for Congolese women and Congolese families made this simple local action MAKE SENSE. It makes sense to end the deaths of an estimated 45,000 people per month in a country wrecked by civil war and a nation whose wealth of resources are being mined to fund death. Yeah, so we did it. We drove a mere 3 minutes to deliver what could be a lifetime to our sisters and brothers in Congo.

See it in pictures - and visit these sites to learn more:

http://www.raisehopeforcongo.org/lisa
FB friend Lisa Shannon
http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h4128/show

http://www.letterstocongo.com/

HELP US GUARANTEE CONFLICT FREE!

(that is NOT my middle finger! I'm holding a jar of pennies oh so awkwardly!)

Telling the story.....

ETA: Some folks asked me about the mood of the event: it was very polite. We didn't enter the store yelling or chanting or with anger. We asked for the manager and he came right to us. We had a conversation. He listened. We left the letter for Steve Jobs with him. We asked him to assure us that he would make every effort to deliver our letter. He said he would do his best. We encouraged him to look up the legislation and we tipped him off that while folks now know about "Blood Diamonds" many don't know about "Conflict Minerals." We felt it was a very successful public action. Of course, we had rehearsed our "schtick" so that we all had something to say - and that's what we did. We delivered 300 pennies in a jar with a message that this was our family contribution to change the lives of 300 people from the Congo and to offset the costs of 1cent per product for Apple.

We'll be sending letters to our represenatives to support the Conflict Minerals Trade Act. We'll also be following Lisa Shannon's efforts to bring change to Congo families. We'll act when we can. We'll run again this fall the Run For Congo Women .

You can e-mail your Representative here on the Amnesty International site or here at AmericanProgress site to urge their support of this legislation.

We're just an average family. You can do it too.

Social Justice Saturday

2010-05-29T11:33:00.003-05:00

NOTE - we are off to the APPLE store in our community with this letter in hand, a bunch of pennies, signs, and a compassionate plea for families in Congo. We're taking part in national effort to get Apple to "guarantee conflict free". We'll report back with details.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May 29, 2010

Dear Steve Jobs,

We, as Apple consumers, ask you to please make Apple the industry leader in compassion, not just sales. Please put your full support behind the Conflict Minerals Trade Act HR. 4128 as it is written.

We urge you to continue Apple’s unique and groundbreaking leadership in the technology industry by helping to stop the deadly conflict over minerals in eastern Congo. Advocating stringent trade regulation of tin, tungsten, and tantalum will help stop the deaths of an estimated 450,000 per year in Congo.

Estimates have placed the cost of this legislation at 1 penny per piece of technology. We know that Apple consumers would readily support this miniscule increase in cost to ensure compassionate trade practices around the world.

Thank you for your support of the legislation that will “Guarantee Conflict Free.”

Sincerely,

OUR FAMILY

French Open Champion 2030

2010-05-26T20:37:00.002-05:00

This is how we roll on thundering evenings when little arms and little legs want to keep moving moving moving. This question is for the tennis loving Finns, how's he doin'?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-26T09:27:00.002-05:00

Familiaris Backyardias

2010-05-22T15:52:00.002-05:00

These shots remind me of these - except another year and a few more "skills."

This morning's water fun was followed by a whole household trip to the Farmer's Market for a fabulous morning breakfast and the comment, "Woowd is stuck in my teef, hewp me pweese." After which Twinkletoes hand picked the best beef jerkey in the world (according to Waffles) from between Blueberry's teeth. Love.

Transracial Adoption: a family's experience and advice to those consider...

2010-05-21T15:38:00.003-05:00

(This video clip is from www.adoptionlearningpartners.org . They have a whole series of video clips and an informative website about adoption)

I really can relate to this mom's experience and her reflections about "seeing the whiteness around her" as an important part of mothering children of color. She starts the interview off slow, in my opinion, but her words quickly gain strength and power. She "got me", of course, when she summoned the words "white privilege." Hello girlfriend!

I noted the other night we had a house full of teens and I found myself "counting color." It was an odd moment, but I was aware that my youngest son, who was in all his glory, was in the midst of a moment. I wondered how the room "looked" to him - was he seeing himself in the Little Tykes slam dunk contest, or the pick up game of home-run derby? Did the laughing faces look like the world to him? In fact, the house was filled with 7 people of color and 6 white people. (FYI: It looked like 8 English first language speakers and 5 English as a second language speakers).

I WANT Blueberry to feel the centered love and identity that this young man so eloquently articulates. I know (I mean I REALLY KNOW) that raising him with love and with opportunity isn't actually going to be "enough" - it's not enough if we don't talk about race and identity and adoption and belonging and being and becoming. It's not enough if we don't "see" our own whiteness in the context of his blackness. Or, his blackness in the context of our whiteness.

Of course, living in the midwest, I take the smart young man's words about "living in a diverse setting" to heart. I'm concerned about raising Blueberry in a neighborhood that is middle/upper class and mostly white. In fact, the non-white families in our neighborhood are mostly not black families. I'm accutely aware of this dynamic. Mr. Silly Pants and I think about what's next - and at the moment we think we'll wait to engage this question in a serious way until Waffles is well into his college life (he'll be a HS senior next year - so we have about 3-4 years).

So, yeah, this gave me a little tap on the back - a reminder - don't lose sight.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-19T07:25:00.000-05:00

My "lens" - Beautiful Black Boy

2010-05-18T08:56:00.000-05:00

Anderson Cooper on "Race" - This week's series.

2010-05-18T07:24:00.001-05:00

There are important discussions happening around race - some are instigated by a recent CNN series (AC360) on Race. Here is the link: http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/13/doll.study/index.html?hpt=C2

The title, "Study: White and black children biased toward lighter skin" hints at the outcome of a test aimed to re-create the landmark Doll Test from the 1940s: it all too quickly yielded "white preference" results. It's 2010 folks. It's time to talk about these things instead of being so self assured that we successfully practice racially neutral behaviors - I include myself in this "we".

Anderson Coopers piece on AC360 (Monday night's episode) is quite shocking. I'm horrified, worried, and angered by our collective inability to anchor change in the deepest fabric of our culture. A friend of mine wrote on FB, "there is no such thing as a colorblind society and as white parents it is our duty to proactively teach our children to combat the images media bombards on us and to not be racially bias." I agree wholeheartedly.Let me add, this is hard and constant work - work well worth it, but it's not easy. Vigilence is necessary.

Hit all the hot links from this video series on the link above- and check out the upcoming episodes this week:
http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2010/05/14/study-white-and-black-children-biased-toward-lighter-skin/
The series runs all week....watch it! (At the moment you can't restream the first night's episode).

Soak it in...please.

Diamond Deal....

2010-05-16T22:56:00.001-05:00

I don't usually write about particular events with students, but this is a goodie - because the image is so amazing!
I received an e-mail today from a student I had awhile ago. The note said, "Thought you might like this." Attached was this image ------>

I love my "diamond" lecture. I love hatin' on diamonds to engage some critical thinking.

Passion. That's what it's all about. I know I'm planting the seed when a person remembers... that's what it's all about.

These are the moments and connections that make me love being a teacher.

Feathers, Fridays, and Friends

2010-05-15T08:06:00.004-05:00

I arrived home from work on Friday to 3 big kids and one little kid all 'game' for heading out for an hour of birding in the neighborhood conservation area. It's warbler season - birding is delightful. We texted Mr. SillyPants to pick up some pizzas on his way home with a plan to meet for dinner around 6:30. In the course of setting up our meet and greet for dinner, Waffles was encouraged to join us. He added 5-7 kids to the evening and an additional 3 pizzas. Done deal.

The sun was shining, our spirits were high, and we birded for an hour with Blueberry a constant source of entertainment , adding a touch of reality to any sort of serious birding. Such is life with a toddler. We arrived home to find 6 pizzas at the ready and carloads of kids unloading in the cul-de-sac.

Pizza on the deck was delightful. Mr. SillyPants cooked (Papa Murphy's - you can get 6 pizzas for a pretty good deal!) and cut the pizzas for the masses. I thought about his life - single and lived mostly in the adult realm....until he met me. Now, this is a fairly common scenario; he works a hard day and comes home to a full house and a certain amount of chaos, noise, demands (even if they are polite), and children's bodies. What endears me to Mr. SillyPants is his embrace of this - and the generosity of his effort. And what endears me to my life is the energy of 13 bodies in the house, and now one small boy who soaks it in.

Dinner was followed by some very silly slam dunk competitions around the Little Tyke basketball hoop, a backyard homerun derby, and a card game around the table. Finally Waffles posse headed out at 10 PM to another home. It was then that a text message arrived from Songbird to please put 4 towels downstairs for herself and her 3 friends who would be spending the night here after dancing..........

............and so it goes. Feathers, Fridays, and Friends. It doesn't get better.

Tim Wise-The Pathology of White Privilege Part 1/6

2010-05-12T21:38:00.001-05:00

I'm a groupie of this man - I love his work.
There is a school in the eastern part of our country where this ENTIRE Tim Wise film was just recently shown to a student group (You can find this film on youtube in 6 parts). A teacher/ally writes about the impact of this video. In an e-mail he says, "I'm continuing with an interracial dialougue group at our local high school...I'm helping coach student facilitators to lead the group. This week we showed [this video]. It sparked some lively discussion and seemed to especially have quite an impact on the white students."
This is the work I want to do - to take this colleague's model and bring it to my school. I have a ton of data about how to create affinity tables, how to form parent groups, how to address equity issues, and how to build alliances with our local school board. It's a matter of breaking through the data collection phase and working on the implementation of one idea - as a springboard to others.
I hope I can really tackle the great ideas that others have put to work in other districts - perhaps in my free time this summer. Uh-oh, did someone say free time? I need a crew to move this along. Volunteers?

Other Mothers, Other Realms

2010-05-09T15:36:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day

It's a bittersweet day for me.

In our home we celebrate multiple mothers - our own mothers and importantly,

Blueberry's firstmom and caregiver.

This is Mr. Sillypant's mom. She lives in Washington state, on a beautiful island in a home overlooking the Sound. We miss her on this Mother's Day and imgaine she is tending the plants in her garden, perhaps reading and enjoying the wildlife in her backyard as the salty breeze blows off of the Sound. She is the mother in our lives in this realm - Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

Today my heart is linked in a special way to 2 courageous women in Ethiopia. Their love allowed me to be a mom to this lovely little boy. It's hard to know why Blue's firstmom couldn't care for him, but I know that deep love of her son brought him into a special person's tukul, where he was cherished, named, cared for, and tenderly delivered into our life. My prayer today is that Blueberry's firstmom knows somehow that he is a sparkling beauty whose energy and vigor reflects all that she must have dreamed he would be; may he shine his light in her honor. And, to Amarech, my hope is that she knows her care of our son brought him into our lives - she is the first caregiver whose face and smile we know. The words we were told, "She is amazing and strong woman" will be the legacy we share with Blueberry. We honor these women who through difficult circumstances and with odds against them, brought us our littlest son.

And, my mother, who is doing her work from the other realm, must know that every day I aspire to be the mom she was to me. Her life is a testimony to the power of love for her family and her friends. The way she lived, even as she was dying, inspired me to be better, to do better, to love better.

Mom, you would be so proud of the kids - I know you see their bright and shiny lives.We'll remember you today with talk of flowers - lilacs and forsythia - and with potted preschool plants and pansies. And there will be tea in your teacups...and we will probably cry because we love you and we miss you.

This image captures your essence - joyful mother and grandmother.

Who I am and how I am is in honor of you, mom.

~You are ~

So beloved. So missed.

*there aren't words - and words can't speak the experience of being this woman's daughter, so please forgive how much I can't say with words*

The Miracle of Ms. Plum

2010-05-08T21:46:00.003-05:00

And now, for something completely different.

Mr. Sillypants here, taking a moment to offer a guest blog entry, one which is actually somewhat clandestine, if you must know. (Ms. Plum is sitting on another couch as I post this - - - I think she assumes I’m doing my charting . . . mum's the word.) Although this is our family blog which details and reflects on the experiences of our daily lives, it is no secret that the brains, brilliance and passion behind this ongoing effort lies almost exclusively with our beloved Ms. Plum. And, on the Eve of Mother’s Day, I cannot think of a more appropriate thing than for me to jot down a few words about the miracle which she is to me, to our family and to so many others.

Many of you who read our blog regularly actually know Ms. Plum in another context, as a family member, close friend, acquaintance, coworker, fellow adoptive parent or as a fellow champion working for social justice. (Perhaps you fit in a number of these categories.) Others of you have come to know Ms. Plum solely through the things she writes here. This blog, her labor of love, as it were, is somewhat of an ongoing examination of those things within our lives which are powerful, meaningful and cause for reflection and discussion.

Today, I want to reflect on something else of vital importance, that is, the miracle of Ms. Plum.

Our particular love story is one of interesting twists and turns, of joys and struggles, of bliss and missteps. Above all, it is one of love and support. In the years we’ve been together, we’ve sold three properties and bought another, cried numerous times when children left for travel abroad (and cried even more in joy upon their safe return), sent two children to college, attended countless soccer games (outdoor and indoor), worked to train a frenetic Golden Doodle and trudged through the daily tasks which are part and parcel of building a life together.

We’ve also known the heartbreak of saying goodbye to a beloved parent and the ineffable joy of welcoming Blueberry into our lives. We know the rewards of raising a family and building a life together. We’ve had opportunities to struggle with critically important questions and even more opportunities to laugh at the truly funny things which occur every day.

In all of this, there is the miracle of Ms. Plum.

Loving, compassionate, intelligent, resourceful, caring, warm, ambitious, emotional, passionate, patient, kind, funny . . . these few words are accurate but actually do a woeful job of truly capturing the unbelievable person she is. An amazing mother with seemingly endless reserves of energy, patience, understanding and love, she has taught me volumes about what parenting is all about.

Her children love her for the mother that she is. I love her for the spouse that she is. All of us, readers included, love her for the woman she is.

Both Ms. Plum and I are pretty typical people in relationship, much like many of you who read our blog - - - we’re happy, functional and working hard to be good to each other and to those around us, yet we’re also imperfect, broken, damaged. Life has a way of doing that to the best of us.

Ms. Plum sees my brokenness, my imperfection, my faults - - - those warts which I cannot hide; rather than sweep them away or try to “change” them, she embraces them, celebrates them . . .

This is simply a way of life for her, embracing those around her for the people they are, without reservation or judgment.

Those of you who read our blog also know of her passion for examining and discussing issues of racism, white privilege, discrimination and inequality; you know of the “fire in her belly” which causes her to speak out against the injustices which are present no matter which way you turn. In this work, one which has become a way of life for Ms. Plum, she has been a source of growth, self-examination and change for me. I know that she has been this for many of you, as well.

Many times, her work for justice and equality has been less than popular. (You know, those of us with privilege don’t like hearing about racism.) But, rather than proclaim her observations and pass judgment from an “ivory tower” (as many in privilege are wont to do), she includes herself as part of the problem and asks those of us around her to join in the struggle to change the system and work for true and lasting equality for all.

Even though this is an unpopular stand for some, Ms. Plum simply cannot be silent - - - the issue of discrimination is simply too important to stand mute, even though the storm rages around her. This is another labor of love for her, one which reaches more and more people every day.

Truthfully, I’m absolutely wild about this woman.

When we first started to date and fall in love, Ms. Plum told me she wanted to be someone’s “perfectly imperfect woman,” describing someone who was both “real” and “magical.” She is exactly that, not only to me but, as a mother, sister, daughter and friend.

Happy Mother’s Day, Ms. Plum. You are truly a miracle.

Thoughts on language - Tim Wise's take on the N* word

2010-05-08T20:04:00.003-05:00

I've witnessed some disturbing language among some young folks I care deeply about. I'm deeply distressed when I read this word, for instance, as part of FB exchanges among a group of young white teenaged boys.

I've done a fair bit of reading and thinking about who is using the word and how. I'm particularly worried about the ways white youth are using the word as part of their own local vernacular.

I've weighed in on several conversations in communities with whom I discuss these things about my feelings about the word, it's use, who uses it and how, reclamation, and avoidance. I think Tim Wise's position from a Boston College talk is pretty darn close to my position. Of course, he articulates it better. (Yeah, I'm a Tim Wise groupie). I am interested in his distinction between the written word and the spoken word - it's something I'm still thinking about myself.

This is a conversation I think is best left to the community who has suffered at the hands of white oppression. It's not my conversation except to pledge: I will NOT use that word. Ever. Period.

Cranes -- No Heavy Lifting Involved

2010-05-07T20:08:00.000-05:00

Every once in awhile Mother Nature honors us with an extra special look at her beauty. Blueberry and I had just said goodbye to our much loved playgroup moms and kids and as we entered our playroom there were two Sandhill Cranes strolling along our back bank of windows. They made their way across and around our yard, settling in for some nibbles in the front yard. Blue and I settled on the front step and had a lovely interaction with the Sandhill pair. I wish I had the stronger lens on the camera - but these will have to do. We were more interested in the experience than in documenting it with the best lens. I love these graceful birds. Now Blueberry does too.

Wordless Water Play

2010-05-06T14:10:00.001-05:00

Garden Gnomes - big and little

2010-05-04T09:05:00.002-05:00

Clementine and Blueberry - two fruits!
p.s. this would be an argument for having kids when you are young - this 21 year old with 'guns' has oodles more energy for wheelbarrow silliness than I could ever muster - plus he's a native Spanish speaker (we value languages in our home) - and he's the apple of Blueberry's eye!

The Mundane and The Momentous

2010-05-03T22:01:00.002-05:00

I have a lot on my mind, but not enough time in my day to keep a record of the many things I am thinking and the many ways I am trying to keep the important things in my life front and center. Sometimes front and center looks like this - - -

Like a watch battery...mine has not been working for 2 months.
And picking up the special laundry detergent I need to wash cloth diapers....our supply was low.
And hoping the Cavs beat the Celtics. GO CAVS!
And kicking the soccer ball around the yard with Blueberry.
And planning summer fun - our family plans are slow to gel - individual plans are pretty well set.
And picking lettuce in C's hoop house (green house) for our dinner salad tonight - OMG, YUMMY!
And rocking Blueberry and singing songs to him while the laundry dries in the sun on the line. Fresh.
And reading Good Night Moon for the 5th time today - just because he loves it.
And hugging Mr. Silly Pants when he arrives home from work - just because he loves it :-)
And anticipating having all 4 kids home this Sunday night. Because I do so much of what I do for my family.

I have been in a good and productive conversation with some people I greatly respect regarding moving my learning along. I've got a lot of work to do as I learn to be an ally and and advocate. I don't "do" my work well all the time. But I try - and while my effort is imperfect, I've made a pledge to allow myself to be perfectly imperfect in this work, I've given myself permission to ask a lot of questions, to be open to mentoring, and if I make a mess, to clean it up the best I can and move on.

One insightful person wrote to me today and said, "We could talk more about .... what it means to be an ally - and how one's intentions/approach get called into question... suffice it to say, I have an understanding of this....Unfortunately, it's an additional symptom of the larger dis-ease that exists with the virus of oppression..".

I was most interested in using the words "dis-ease" and "virus of oppression." I must consider how these words influence how I think and act on this journey. Because that's what I'm doing.....making the journey. The concept of "dis-ease" sort of brings my mind into a gentler frame - I think that's a good thing. A gentler framing of where we each are, and how one might encourage movement, and acknowledging that none of us knows what we don't know. Words can become ways for me to remember how to affect myself and how to work for the good of my community. So, I am mulling over how "dis-ease", in particular, informs what I say, how I say it, and when I say it.

Finally, if you haven't read Tim Wise's recent piece on immigration, it's here. Go and read it. Tim has a very good grasp of the issues surrounding immigration (and Arizona) as they relate to racism. I'm furious about what is going on in Arizona. I'm furious and so is Tim.

And then there is that damn BP oil spill. I LOVES ME SOME BIRDS!!! (Migration is in full swing - the warblers are here, the warblers are here!). My binoculars will be out in full working order this weekend.

It's a lot to digest - I crave line dried sheets and soccer balls and garden grown lettuce...so here's to more of that!

Sunday Snapshot

2010-05-02T19:36:00.000-05:00

Twinkletoes in Ecuador, 2009

Update: Twinkletoes and Songbird will be in Ecuador in June.

Songbird will be there the whole summer.

Waffles will be in Honduras most of the summer.

Mr. Silly Pants will be in Ethiopia in June.

I'll be home - holding down the fort so we can do the things we all do.

The Stereotype Threat

2010-04-29T15:31:00.004-05:00

Making my regular "rounds" reading items about race and identity, I came upon this interesting article today.
I have been reading as much as I can about deficit ideology and about internalized racism that PoC carry as part of their own racialized selves. This article adds another layer to my understanding of the power of stereotypes:

For acclaimed social psychologist Dr. Claude Steele, the numbers just didn't make sense. Why, he wondered, was the national college dropout rate for Black students 20 to 25 percent higher than that for whites even when those students were just as well-prepared for college, had no socioeconomic disadvantages and managed to get excellent SAT scores? And among those Black students who did finish college, why was their grade-point average consistently lower than white students?....According to Steele, one of the major barriers holding back the achievement of Blacks, women and other underrepresented groups is a phenomenon he calls "stereotype threat," the threat of being viewed through the lens of a negative stereotype or the fear of doing something that would inadvertently confirm that stereotype.

I am particularly curious about this part of Dr. Steele's research:

Over the past 20 years, Steele has conducted numerous studies to test his theory of stereotype threat. In one study, he asked two groups of Black and white college students to take a 30-minute test made up of questions from the verbal section of the Graduate Record Examination (GRE). The test was designed to be difficult and the results were shocking.

When one group was told the test would measure their intellectual ability, Black students underperformed dramatically. But when another group was told the test could not measure intellectual ability, Blacks and whites performed at virtually the same level.

"When you get ride of the stereotype threat and tell the students this is not a test of cognitive ability, it's just a puzzle, have fun—that small instruction makes the stereotype irrelevant," Steele said. "When you create that situation, their performance goes up to match that of white students."

Read the whole article here - and then consider, if you will, how as an educator I (and we) might help our female students and students of color (the 2 underperforming groups) perform better and with less internal stereotype fear on those major tests (like the SAT and ACT) and in their everyday work? I am going to pick up a copy of Steele's book, Whistling Vivaldi. (ETA: book purchased)

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-28T17:06:00.000-05:00

Why Time Wise Rocks My World...and why understanding white privilege matters

2010-04-26T21:49:00.000-05:00

Imagine: Protest, Insurgency and the Workings of White Privilege

By Tim Wise

April 20, 2010

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure—the ones who are driving the action—we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters—the black protesters--spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protesters--these black protesters with guns--be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that's what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation's capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country's political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a black rap artist were to say, in reference to a white politician and presidential candidate: "He's a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun." And what would happen to any prominent liberal commentator who then, when asked about that statement, replied that the rapper was a friend and that he (the commentator) would not disavow or even criticize him for his remarks. Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said in 2007 about Barack Obama, and that's how Sean Hannity responded to Nugent's remarks when he was asked about them.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister--who also works for the organization--defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America's Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough--“living fossils” as he called them--“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.*

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.

In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?
To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.
Game Over.

Transracial Parenting

2010-04-26T12:48:00.001-05:00

I just love this mom's voice.
While my son is 2, he will be a big boy in no time.
I hope moms like LuLu keep talking so I can keep learning.

BTW, I did the implicit attitude test she refers to at the end of her post. I've read about this test and it was REALLY interesting to take it (I think the work is mentioned in the book Blink). You ought to take it - it will take 10 minutes and it's very interesting.

Beach Bum - CA style

2010-04-25T21:54:00.004-05:00

Santa Monica Beach, Spring Break 2010

Chico - and the work of Lee Mun Wah

2010-04-21T21:05:00.002-05:00

Lee Mun Wah is one of my all time heroes and someone whose work has served as an example and and inspiration to me. Perhaps his movie, "The Color of Fear" is one of the most pivotal viewing experiences of my life. You might like to preview a powerful and stunning moment with this clip from youtube. It is a stunning 2 minutes, trust me. Then, go to your public library and rent this movie.

My admiration for this incredible man, Lee Mun Wah, turned into a FB friend request. I just wanted to 'know' him, even if the 'knowing' was a little glimpse of his musings through social networking media. It happened that I 'friended' him with a comment about how much I was looking forward to meeting him at the WPC, where he was in attendance and presenting.

Just this week Lee Mun Wah posted this article on his FB account. It's the news story of a student leader at California State University who was stabbed and attacked. The allegations are that this is a racially motivated attack at it is being called a hate crime. Lee Mun Wah states, "...the comments [following the article] are telling of where we stand divided in this country on race relations. What are your thoughts?"

I ask you the same. I don't care where these hate crimes occur - my neighborhood or yours. Every single one of them deserves our attention and our outrage.

P.S. I met the man in the youtube video, Victor Lee, at the conference too - and I friended him as well. I'm such a FB stalker of people I admire!

For the Birds

2010-04-18T21:44:00.001-05:00

Our first birding this season outside of the pleasure of backyard birding.

We walked this evening at Pheasant Branch. It was lovely.

I'm excited for the warbler migration - I always love this time of year for the warblers!

A hint of what's to come tonight with a kinglet and a yellow rumped warbler. Nice firsts of the season.
But the highlight - was Blueberry's delight, his running legs, his curiousity, his free spirit.
Fly baby!

Sunday Snapshot

2010-04-18T09:07:00.000-05:00

Lalibela, Ethiopia 2008

reMoved

2010-04-16T14:49:00.001-05:00

Hey blog readers!

If you're here to have a look at "those posts" you can stop right here. I removed them from my blog.

The decision to do so was my own. I chose to take down the posts without any "outside" pressure.

Honestly, conversations are more important to me than accusations. I have to walk the walk and talk the talk in order to keep it real. Part of the talk, presently, requires that I be in positive dialogue with my community, my co-workers, my neighborhood, and my friends. That positive dialogue is important to me and to those with whom I work, live, and play.

Peace out.

(Um, yeah, I'm still going to blog about this stuff! But I'll work at framing those provocative questions in a more productive way and with a more self-reflective lens).

Explaining it....

2010-04-15T08:48:00.001-05:00

What is meant by the idea of "white privilege?"

Here is a nice and brief article about privilege from a rockin' presentation by Steven Jones at the White Privilege Conference. The author uses the concept of living in a 'right handed world' to illuminate the concept of white privilege (or any privilege, for that matter). 2 pages of clear reading - go and read it!

http://www.jandaconsult.com/publications.php

And here is my tired and worn out look - I'm wearing it daily. Let's just call it a self portrait. I took it while at the WPC - exhausted and working all my parts to dig deeper. As my students might say, "kind of emo!"

Wordless Wednesday on a 110 year old Steinway

2010-04-07T20:22:00.002-05:00

White Privilege Conference in LaCrosse

2010-04-07T17:31:00.000-05:00

I leave super early in the morning to attend the WPC in LaCrosse WI. I am super excited to be going and to be attending with my friend, Jayme - cool mom, whole foodie, mom to the fabulous wonder twins, blogger (she's private - but I'm gonna have her guest blog here), and immersion companion. She lives in Chicago but she's coming my way for this great event.

Check it out!
http://www.uccs.edu/~wpc/

I'll update from the site, if I can. I'm pretty sure my head is going to be swimming in the best stuff surrounded by awesome people. I am so ready for learning!

Why Immersion?

2010-04-05T21:50:00.001-05:00

Examining, critically, my whiteness and white identity.

Examining issues related to privilege and particularly my white privilege.

Externalizing my sense of entitlement that is connected to my own white privilege (not to mention class, but working to know the difference). ETA: by externalizing I mean moving the dynamic from an internal space to a place of overt knowing and responsibility.

Constructing a self identity that is more wholey integrated : "I know that I did not personally participate in the horror of slavery. But I know that because I am White, I continue to benefit from a racist system that stems from the slavery era." (Immersion and Emersion in Helm's White Racial Identity stages).

And, finally, acting with determination and insight to NOT be involved in activities that perpetuate racial oppression.

Eggscellent Easter!

2010-04-05T14:48:00.001-05:00

April 2010

Eggstra Fun

2010-04-03T21:17:00.002-05:00

Speaking into the Silence

2010-03-25T23:29:00.003-05:00

In the 2 full days since the newspaper story broke, there has been an eerie and disturbing silence in our district. NOT A WORD from our administration, from other staff members, or anyone. Nothing. The silence has been difficult for me. Speaking into the silence tonight was necessary. I went solo on this. I am reminded how the 50 students of color at my high school feel like they're "going solo" nearly every time they walk into the school, my classroom, the gym, the art room, the parking lot.

I pressed the send button and sent this letter district wide - to every working person in my district:.
Please leave a comment if you have resources I've missed. Or, add a comment with your own interpretation of events. I'm especially interested in learning how to be a good ally - feel free to add your own nudge. And, thanks for reading.

Dear Colleagues,

I'm reaching out to my colleagues in the district to encourage thoughtful and introspective consideration of the highly charged recent discussions of racial tensions in our school district.

In some instances, I have felt concerned that our community often recognizes only the most extreme and blatant actions as actually constituting "racism", excuses offenders as 'young ignorant kids', denies the problems that people of color present as their lived reality, and blames minority communities for the "problem." .

Some of you know that I have been working diligently during the past 3 years to become a better ally in our school community and our community at large.

I've taken several classes, participate in a number of online forums, read and continue to read about ways to resist racism, and dedicated myself to being an anti-racist parent.

I've scoured some of my favorite resources and included links to those I find accessible/readable/friendly/pertinent to the myriad of discussions happening in public and private spaces in
our schools, homes, and communities.

Here are some sources - I promise I've tried to keep them readable, brief, and powerful. I know we don't have enormous amounts of time on our hands to delve into resources. But, we must.

I hope my efforts help move our students and our own lives into spaces of increasing understanding, compassion, and dialogue. I hope that if you have resources you would like to share that you will add to this conversation with information to continue our community learning. I look forward to hearing from you.

Here it is!

This is an all time classic by Peggy McIntosh. It is an excellent exercise you can do in 15 minutes. Do it. Please.
http://curlykidz.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/unpackingtheknapsack.pdf

My friend wrote this great piece on how to be an ally. Her piece focuses on why it is important for white majority people to understand our privilege and more deeply recognize the unearned benefits of our whiteness. The end of her article includes other awesome resources for self-reflection and processing.
http://loveisntenough.com/2009/12/30/how-to-be-an-anti-racist-ally/

This link references the program "NIOT" (Not in Our Town) which has become a national movement to combat bullying and racism in schools. I know there are many programs - this is one that has available resources for the classroom and community.
http://www.pbs.org/niot/get_involved/edu_resources.html
Discussion of NOIT with some video clips of parents and kids: http://loveisntenough.com/2010/02/24/what-to-do-when-your-child-is-being-bullied/#more-1347

For those of you who are visual learners - a 3 minute discussion about how to talk about racism.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc&feature=player_embedded

This is an interview with one of my heroes, Beverly Daniel Tatum. She has written many books about race in America. I highly recommend Why Are All The Blacks Kids Sitting Together in The Cafeteria and Can We Talk about Race. I wrote a 'book review' for a local class (Racial Healing) on Can We Talk About Race - feel free to ask for it.
http://www.pbs.org/race/000_About/002_04-background-03-04.htm

Read anything and everything by Tim Wise. I particularly recommend White Like Me
http://www.timwise.org/ or his blog http://www.redroom.com/blog/tim-wise
for brief pieces.

The Case against Camo

2010-03-24T23:12:00.007-05:00

just puttin' this out there: http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/education/local_schools/article_4346caa4-36d1-11df-9f92-001cc4c03286.html

I'm buckling in - tomorrow is going to be a bumpy ride in the HS!

More comments from me on this when I've actually been in the building and have a better sense of what's going on in response to this print. And for the record - the comments are really tough to take. My heart goes out to the kids who are the victims; the kids who brought their stories to the administration, the teachers, and school services. It's not a new story.

It's going to take a mighty effort to be an effective ally. Their efforts (and rights!) to be at the HS without disruptions to their education and without harrassment is a huge concern to me. I'm very concerned that my students of color will be threatened, bullied, and coerced into silence. Once again.

Listen Up:
Wearing camo doesn't make you a racist. And, racists are wearing camo as a symbol of their hate group identity. The gang, "Hicks" (they've also identified themselves as CK or "Coon Killers"), have established the camo as a signal/sign of their gang membership.
Said another way:
If you wear camo it does not mean you are a racist. And, racists do wear camo.

Let's not argue about whether wearing camo makes you a "Hick." Let's admit that "Hicks" wear camo. This is a compelling case against camo. The symbol is intimidating to students. Some students feel threatened by camo apparel.

Support your friends, classmates, colleagues, neighbors, and community members - KEEP YOUR CAMO IN YOUR CLOSET!

We need to stop admiring the problem and get to work!

When Daddy is away....

2010-03-22T21:25:00.003-05:00

Mr. Silly Pants (known as Daddy) is away for 4 days. Yes, we're counting.

We've made it a good 4 days - although I now know that single mama's and pappa's must have a steady supply of uppers to keep on pace. Goodness gracious - I have forgotten what it's like to do it solo (and I've been a single mama!).

So, when daddy is not here.....we're up and out the door at 7 a.m.

We're looking forward to his return home

Expansion and Immersion

2010-03-21T22:19:00.001-05:00

I haven't blogged much about 'stuff'. Honestly, I've been preoccupied with my working situation. I'm getting closer to clarity about HOW to do what I need to do. But, there are 2 things on the horizon that are pretty exciting.

First, Mr. Silly Pants is attending a conference this week that is totally floating his boat. I expect to hear a lot of juicy details about health care in the US (it isn't a medical specialty conference - it's a medical admin conference). Mr. Silly Pants might be getting his butt kicked by long days of what he calls "heady stuff." I just have to point out that the past ~~six~~ two conferences he has attended he spent the mornings in sessions and afternoons hanging out at Universal Studios or DisneyLand or Dr. Seuss World or HarryPotterLand...whatever. I know he brought his son a Tigger and a Winnie the Pooh from 2 separate trips. I think this trip we might get a convention center note pad. *grin*

Second, April 1 marks the start of my cultural immersion exercise. I'll be joined by a fabulous friend, mom of the wonder twins, and neighbor in the city of Chicago. (Her blog is private, otherwise I'd link you all to it). I think I will ask her to guest post some of her experiences on my blog for public reading. I expect her experience in the city is going to be much different in some ways than my experience here in my University town. I also expect that some of what we both experience will have common themes and threads in that we are both majority culture women. We're gonna have our butts kicked too. I'm so ready for the challenge.
I've got a lot of ideas. And, I'm going to face a lot of challenges actually immersing in minority culture in this community in which I live that has minority population that is small (statistics to come later).

I'm wondering if anyone would like to join us? Here is the idea (and it is yours to construct):
Immersion was levied as a challenge on a video that I saw while participating in the class, Racial Healing. A group of PoC leaders posed the challenge to totally LIVE/SUPPORT/IMMERSE in minority culture for a month as a way to gain a sense, however small, of the realities of the prevelance of majority culture. Immersion, for me, isn't about learning about minority culture experience. No. I think the best we (as in majority folks) can do is gain a deeper understanding of our whiteness. So, the thought is to read/eat/shop/sing/play/view....LIVE.....as completely embedded in minority culture as possible. So, for example, the only music I will be listening to is music by PoC. And, I'll only read media by PoC. And, I'll do my best to shop with PoC and buy/patronize businesses owned by PoC. You get the picture, right? That sums it up. Care to join?

Or, comment?

*Blueberry's focused attention on his big brother at an early Sunday morning soccer game*

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-17T09:50:00.001-05:00

Perspective on suckage

2010-03-15T19:54:00.001-05:00

I could feel the suckage happening at work today.

Decision making time is drawing near.

Letters of intent were distributed today.

...but I feel totally engrossed in the little guy behind the glass above...

*AND*

I had a woman on my mind today.

She was in my tears last night.

He was brought into the world by her and through her.

He was loved by her - I imagine he looks like her

I grasped my husbands hands in bed last night and asked him to help me remember her

in word and out loud.

We spoke the things in our hearts.

Today, suckage be damned.

~Covenants~

Lavendar Booties and a 2 Year Old

2010-03-14T17:28:00.004-05:00

I don't know how we progressed from "lavendar booties", to THIS big boy quite so quickly. It is hard, still, to see the image of our son as he 'waited.' His eyes looked wise, his lessons seemed learned too quickly and too deeply. I sensed he had started with love, and hoped to honor that which he knew with the steady and sturdy course of our family's love. I can still remember the day I realized that 'waiting' and 'wise' look had faded to be replaced by the curious, joyful look of our Blueberry.

He has grown. I have learned to celebrate and and delight in the giggles of my biggie children, the gentle kindness and enduring love of my husband, and the absolute joy of sharing it all with our littlest, Blueberry. We have come together in ways I did not anticipate - and we are stronger in our family bond together with "Blue." I feel such gratitude for the presence of my 4 children and our friends, and our family. I am working to live with more awareness of the goodnesses that infuse my days. This birthday set of events (playgroup birthday and then family birthday) provided many opportunities to celebrate and appreciate my family and our friends.

Blueberry's "Big 2" with his little friends and with our family. In pictures:

Big brother Waffles gave him his first chocolate candy bar

He blew out his candles on his angel food cake

He watched the biggies and some friends build an awesome block tower

He tried to hang on for a sibling photo

He spent the morning outside with his friends, splashing in puddles

more puddles :-)

cupcakes with not enough sprinkles (D's sprinkle method still eludes me)

twirled and whirled with glee

and ..... well, THIS image is the one that reminds me of the fullness of our lives when the little one is in bed and there is still so much "kid" energy filling our home. 'Tis a good life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUEBERRY

March 15, 2010

The Maasai 'go to work'

2010-03-11T07:32:00.001-06:00

I'm teaching my favorite 'project' this week. My students are each assigned an 'indigenous people' and then after quite a bit of research they write a rather intensive 'journal' in which they imagine themselves a teenager in said culture. The list includes Maori, Maasai, Ainu, Kayapo, Mongolian Herders, Ibo, Yanomami, Saami...you get the picture.They have 8 topic choices (economy, religion, social life, education, etc...) and choose 5 on which to write. Writing in first person, and writing with a strong sense of cultural respect is a great excercise for 14 year old kids. It's a good project and while the writing is a bit informal, it is also creatvie and extensive. Plus, I like to teach it. I like to grade it. My students come back to me year after year and "remember" details about their aboriginal people. The outcomes are strong for this project. And, let's name it - this is ONE place where I really get to engage a topic with cultural relevancy for my students. I'm VERY thoughtful about who is assigned which culture. Finally, I've found this a really strong way to teach how enormously flexible culture really is - I dismantle ideas of the static, unchanged, primitive people. I'm not interested in reinforcing notions of unchanging and "isolated" people. Don't even get me started on cannibalism! (As in, "Ms. Plum, can I study cannibals?")

One of the days I teach I always remember to wear the jewelry I bought in a Maasai village in Kenya. Guess who likes the necklace? I tell the story of paying $20 bucks at the 'gate' and of the singing and clapping as the Maasai women performed their "Maasai-ness" for the benefit of the travelers who pulled up in the jeep - for the benefit of their dollars, quite honestly. This IS authentic. This IS Maasai. This IS the Serengeti today in this place that is part of the Maasai Mara Game Reserve where wealthy white people enjoy safaris in Land Rovers with guides and platform tents with toilets. And yes, the men were out tending the cattle. The village was full of old men and women and children. And the...I could go on and on. I should pull out some pictures and post them too. Later, with student permission, I'll post some journal entries.

Cool stuff.....

*top pic is a self portrait that Blueberry and I took - weird angle, but there it is*

The Coffee Jar and My Bosom

2010-03-10T20:26:00.002-06:00

Ample room in my bossom for carrying this *lovey* when I visit my favorite friends. Invite me anytime - I'll squeeze it into my bra and be there with bells on and a good attitude about vacuuming, should there be a pressing need.

(BTW, the jar was a buck at St. Vinny's - it's rather lovely, isn't it?)

Per my sister's question (and correction of my poor spelling), this is, in fact, an inside joke referencing the weekend camp-in among friends in Wisconsin.

The Biggies told me THIS was a Spanish Conversation Table...

2010-03-08T17:20:00.003-06:00

It looks more like a bar, am I right? In fact, it looks exactly like the Rathskeller at UW!
(and I stalk them all on facebook, and this image I STOLE from Twinkletoe's facebook "random" album. Random, yeah, right *wink*)

Rear View Mirror

2010-03-08T15:41:00.002-06:00

We need some groceries big time around here. Somehow the weekend came and went without a meal plan and without the efforts of Mr. Silly Pants to stock the shelves with goodness and nutrition. Thus, Blue and I made it a ~~Whole Foods~~ Whole Paycheck day. We were driving in the sunshine after having played outside on our deck in our fleece sweatshirts and boots - a welcome spring event. We even trudged over to the park bench and had a "sit"; scooping up melting snow we giggled and laughed and watched the warm snow melt in our hands.

I looked into my rear view mirror and had one of those breath-taking moments; I saw his perfectly deep brown almond shaped eyes looking right into mine. *Gasp* I thought,

THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING BACK TO WORK FULL-TIME!

We grabbed a cart and enjoyed shopping and talking...somewhere near the pasta, I paused, overcome. I looked at Blueberry, leaned into him, gently kissed his cheek and whispered, "I couldn't love you more." Right at that moment a mother wheeled around the corner with a matching 2 year old in her cart, witnessing my intimate moment with my son. Caught red handed loving my little one - she gave me a tender and delightful smile. WE both proceeded to shop, not a word between us - but a knowing look that spoke volumes.

*My cart is full*

I wanted to record this because it was so simple, and so sweet and so absolutely PURE and TOTAL.

-------------------------------------------

ETA: Job situation -

Thanks for all the great comments. I wanted to say that because of structural/institutional stuff at my HS, job sharing isn't an option. Our department has had staff reductions and my personal bid for part time isn't going to get supported. It's really an all or nothing question for this particular gig - this year, anyway. In a time of budget cuts (big ones this year, bigger next year) the scenario isn't good for part time work UNLESS the FTE's fall just right. This year they don't. Your thoughts are good ones, friends. I'm all over the friendly advice, and I really appreciate the empathetic "me too's" in the crowd. Thank you.
(photo is of Blue practicing his "surprised" look - an eyebrow lift Songbird taught him)

Waffles won't....(I have no idea why this moved from 2 weeks ago to today's post?) But it's worth restating!

2010-03-07T18:49:00.001-06:00

Waffles won't be doing THIS in......

HONDURAS!

June to August, 2010 - He got his assignment today in the mountainous region of La Paz, Honduras. The volunteer headquarters are in the city of La Paz (population 17,000) but the volunteers themselves are located in the very rural mountainous communities up to 4 hours outside of La Paz. Summer days are warm, and nights are cool. It is the rainy season.

CONGRATULATIONS WAFFLES!

Sunday Snapshot

2010-03-07T18:43:00.002-06:00

Lalibela, Ethiopia - AlemTsehaye's backyard

* a look and a wave to a young teen aged girl in this backyard was the beginning of a lovely friendship between my children and an age-mate in Ethiopia*

Right back where I once was....

2010-03-06T15:40:00.001-06:00

I'm in the middle of some pretty BIG personal/professional decisions. It's been an intense week. I have felt the love and support of my family - Mr. Silly Pants, Waffles, and Songbird have been around all week and their bright and shiny spirits have kept me afloat during a week I might have really gotten annoyed, discouraged, and aggravated. Oh, add frustrated and pissed OFF to the list.

I've got some decisions to make about what direction to take professionally. I *think* I am going to have GREAT difficulty negotiating for half time work for another year in my school district. The truth is that I really love working half time. The split between my family and my profession is just perfect right now. I feel like I am at about the top of my teaching game with a 40% work load. And, my home days with "the Blue" are superb. I love the balance right now. Blueberry loves the balance too - he's happy happy happy with his babysitter and it is oh so good for him to have other stimulating social environments with other kids. It's so damn good to feel like my parenting and my profession are in great balance. It's a hard place to figure how that would change if my ONLY option is to return to work full time. The dilemma is the ever changing landscape of Blueberry's needs - and my ability to meet them with enthusiasm and energy. My biggest fear is making the WRONG decision. My sense is that years ago when I was in the midst of family building and a young marriage, I did a very poor job of strategizing for my own needs. I'm a much better advocate for myself now; I'm older, wiser, more centered, and more relationally secure and mature. But, hell, I can still make some doozie mistakes. And I've got some road rash to prove it. Yeah yeah, don't we all?

But really, I left my first marriage with NO professional experience and made a mad dash for a teaching certificate with an 'OH CRAP! I have to get a job and start a career!" I had been crafting a mini-career out of going to graduate school and changing my research topic with each gust of wind. I was LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY to land a job in a district that has cultural anthropology as part of their social studies requirement - the job is a perfect fit for me. Except, um, I HAVE to teach US history if I am teaching full time. And, the truth is I'm not a great history teacher (I am a great anthro teacher). Plus, I don't like the idea of leaving my 2 year old son for my full time job. Nor do I relish the thought of going to a job that isn't 9-5; teachers bring home piles of work, have oodles of homework to grade, and lessons upon lessons to rework/recraft in order to maintain superb teaching. I mean really....I fear that the combo of teaching full time is going to make Ms. Plum a ROTTEN TOMATO!

I feel an eerie and uncomfortable parallel with another time in my life - and this just feels like a huge decision and I don't entirely trust myself to make the best decision; one that honors the covenant I feel with my little Blueberry, and one that helps me maintain my sense of balance and power, both privately in my marriage and publicly in my intellectual and professional life. C'mon sisterhood, I know you hear me on this one! He just turned 2! My mama stuff says don't work full time. My self preservation stuff says don't give up this good gig.

ahhhhhhhhhh, so in the meantime we're slashing our budget (making a car trade this weekend, we think) and examining the "hows" and "whats" of a lot of changes in the fall. Did I mention my child support for my 3 kids ends in the fall, and I have 2 kids in college for the next 6 years? Yeah - work can't be off the table.

*putting it all out here is a little risky since I'm pretty sure colleague/kids have access to the blog and I don't want to say things that might inflame a certain situation*

WI Doze-n

2010-03-04T13:50:00.003-06:00

Last weekend in lieu of landing in La Guardia, Blueberry and I drove a short hour to the "east coast" of Wisconsin and spent the weekend with a cool crew of kids and mamas. I was lucky to be invited to hang out with these friends - and let me tell you, I knew a good party was in store everyone! Knowing this, I begged their pardon as a two-timing, double booking, loser friend and groveled for re-admission to the weekend "par-tay." Admission was granted providing I brought adult refreshments; a case and a pound of coffee helped my cause.

I counted on my fingers (math is not my forte) and there were 12 kids at one time: J, B, M, E, E, I, M, L, B, F, T....wait, that's only 11!!!! See, math isn't my strong suit. Neither was personal hygeine that weekend! But, we did have a blast. And, I sure hope we didn't spread the ring worm!!!!

The highlight for Blueberry was the unexpected birthday bash - celebrating his 2 year old birthday. He LOVED the cake decorating - using a rather Jackson Pollock method he and baby Og decorated the cake with abandon....and the kitchen floor too. D is a ~~maniac~~ superstar for her tolerance of chaos and fun. It seemed like no amount of sprinkles were too many! (Or Pringle chips, or popcorn, or pancakes). And, there was Lucy. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Lucy kiss Blueberry" from Blueberry this week. Gator, I think Blueberry might be a little Casenova! And, seeing Blueberry and Og in one place gives you a pretty good visual, huh? Speaking of Og, his goodbye gesture got a lot of play this week, "Og push Blueberry." Yep, a kiss and a shove, that pretty much sums up the fabulous weekend!

Finally, I'll leave the snarky comments to the Queen of Snark.

And she's in good company with the other mamas.

I'm getting out the therapy jar, just in case.

I can't wait to camp-in again next year!

*and yes, I tried to make a cool title sort of like Mama Papaya would

...and yes, I know I failed*

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-03T16:24:00.000-06:00

*Thanks to a certain someone (student) for reminding me to post for "Wordless Wednesday"*

Big Sister Songbird

2010-03-01T19:33:00.001-06:00

My bookends - first and fourth

For JC and her daughter (and eM in NYC, from Blueberry)

2010-02-26T17:40:00.003-06:00

Blueberry and I were supposed to be in NYC this weekend. We planned to visit my friend and the fabulous little eM. We didn't make it - it snowed so hard in the city that flights have been cancelled for two days. But, I wanted a taste of NY....so I made my way down to the college campus and walked out on the lake. Look at what I found! Dr. LaBootie, under the water! I took a picture of this especially for you, M.

I can't wait for March when I will be in California and I can meet you, M, and your little brother and see your mom again. And eM and ML, Blueberry and I will be in NYC in the spring when we can buy hot dogs from vendors and spend our day in the park.

p.s. good luck explaining this one, JC!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-24T18:28:00.005-06:00

Sunday Snapshot

2010-02-21T08:54:00.002-06:00

Lalibela, Ethiopia
*this was a fascinating place where nuns live - all in little homes carved into the caves with front doors facing out onto this corridor - stunning in every way - and sacred*

Iditarod Dog

2010-02-17T20:06:00.000-06:00

This little pal, Iditarod Dog, belonged to big sister, Songbird. I arrived home tonight from a long long day at work (including a meeting with 2 different sets of parents about super tough kids) and my little boy immediately asked for his boots to go outside. We 3 trekked outside in the dusk with dog and frisbees and had a little outside time before that dreaded dinner prep. Our progress here is that Bluebery can now trek around a bit in the snow. He's gaining some stamina and some love of the winter snow. Success.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-17T08:04:00.001-06:00

The Chopping Block

2010-02-15T20:40:00.005-06:00

30 Days of Nothing helped our family return to weekly menu planning. We've found it takes a lot of the stress of nightly dinner out of our evenings. Duh! It wasn't like we didn't know this, but our discipline was lacking. Sometimes Mr. Silly Pants and I aren't as good at being cooperatively organized as we could be, or as I imgagine we actually are. I think I am seeing this piece more clearly now. We kinda stink at the day to day cooperative stuff. We're pretty good at our own stuff. Perhaps we needed to muddle through some struggles in our daily lives (schedule) to get a little closer to 'smooth.' We both admit, it has been stressful to add a little whirling dirvish into our daily lives - precious, amazing, delightful, AND STRESSFUL! Blueberry requires cooperation and communication - no more fending for ourselves and then coming together at the end of the day. We changed the deal with marriage and little boy.

Honestly, it's not just about getting our evenings in order - there IS Blueberry. Add to "the boy" effect that I have been cooking for my family for many many years - um, like 21 to be exact - and there should be no surprise when I state, I'm just pretty darn tired of the work of family dinner. Frankly, I'm burned out on dinner cooking (that must be a thyroid of 9 talking). It seems the structural parts of this marriage and family have me right back in the thick of prepping the family meal for my husband's arrival home after work. I work part time - I'm home first, I'm home more, I'm home longer. I KNOW it makes sense to prepare the provisions most of the time. But, I don't exactly enjoy the dinner duties. Nope, I don't.

Tonight's meal was chicken salad the easy way; Organic Girl lettuce with our veges added and some breasts of chicken grilled up and added to the bowl. It's an easy dinner designed for tonight because I worked today, because Mr. Silly Pants and I try to eat a good salad meal at least once a week, and because our veges and greens are best at the start of the week before the wilt has set in.

The key is to make the prepping of dinner something that Blueberry and I enjoy doing together. This isn't easy for me; I'm sometimes about just getting the job done, I'm not too happy about dinner cooking anyway, I'm tired (9 again), and a toddler at the chopping block isn't exactly an efficient or even pleasant use of time. Yet, if we're going to eat as a family and eat at a reasonable time (say, 6:15-6:30) I have to figure out how to include our son in cooking dinner. (This is one place I feel the lack of sibs in the house, to be honest).

Chef Blueberry and I got to work tonight and chopped and diced our little hearts out. His favorite addition was the handful of cashews; which he mostly ~~crammed hungrily in his mouth~~

ate, although he added a few to our burgeoning bowl of greens and veges.

Frankly, if I can learn how to handle the slow pace, the dropped whisks and spatulas, the saliva licked fingertips touching every food item and adding some half-way chewed items back to the bowl, the yells for "more", the little legs trying to inconspicuously crawl up onto the chopping block to reach the olive oil and last night's bottle of wine, and the danger of topples off his chair along with accompanying screams....it's all good!

Tonight worked. If' I'm smart and pay attention, tomorrow night will too. Maybe?

Sunday Snapshot

2010-02-14T10:13:00.002-06:00

Guest House: Addis Ababa 2008

Olympic Hopefuls

2010-02-12T19:23:00.002-06:00

There is an inspiring story here about Ethiopia's ONLY winter Olympic athlete, Robel Teklemariam. And here he is training in the beautiful hills of Addis Ababa. This guy is an inspiration - he IS the Ethiopian ski team. When he enters the venue tonight with the Ethiopian flag, I'm go to stand up and cheer loudly and from the heart. Robel is going to rock da house!

In honor of Robel, a group of amazing mom's are on board with beginning the training for our children to become Ethiopia's first Olympic bobsled team. We started today. What's unique about this team is that they are a mixed gender team - and they ROCK! Meltdowns over lost mittens, snowy tumbles, wet diapers, and hungry tummies are NOTHING compared to the determination of these future OLYMPIANS!

ETHIOPIA, ETHIOPIA, ETHIOPIA!

Moi?

2010-02-10T20:39:00.002-06:00

I always give my students a simple "get to know you" survey when the semester begins. I ask them 3 things. The abbreviated version is as follows:
1.If it were possible to go back to one particular event in history, what would it be?
2.If you could travel to one place in the world, where would you go?
3.Tell me something more about YOU

I am always so amazed and pleased about the amount of great (and sometimes very detailed) information I get from my 9th graders on this "interest survey." I tell them I care about the things that interest them, and I tell them I read these very carefully and with great attention to learn a bit about "who" they are. My earnestness must really impress them, because I find I learn something about each and every student.

I'm reading the surveys tonight. It hasn't been a very good day for me. But, tonight this answer just had me howling (remember, I am feeling totally in the DUMPS, (read previous post)so this just made me laugh out loud and smile): "Oh, wait! I'll add a p.s. P.S. I think I'm going to really enjoy this class. A number of my friends have actually compared me to you because I'm kind of a feminist and I have very strong views and opinions on things."

And I ask you, is she talking about moi?

I got words on Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-10T15:34:00.001-06:00

Yep, I got words on Wordless Wednesday. I've been in the grip of trying to get my thryoid on track. It's been about 12 months of trying. Monday I scooted into the lab for a quick blood draw. I knew something was up then the results didn't come up on my chart mid-day - I should have access to 'normal' labs in real time - so the delay let me know something was up. UP UP UP. Dang, I'm at a TSH of 9 - which is the highest my TSH has been (that I know of) - which means that I've got a hypo-thyroid deal goin' on. And my racoon eyes? Yeah, now we know why I look like I have 2 black eyes. And my malaise? 9 - check. And my constant low level body ache? It's 9. Feeling like my view is always blurry? Um.....9

Somehow knowing I'm at 9 brought the roof down - like HELL YES I FEEL LIKE CRAP. I'm trying to recover from the crush of admitting how freakin' shitty I actually feel. I'll be back when I'm back...until then, no promises.

Sunday Snapshot

2010-02-07T08:13:00.001-06:00

Winter Racquet Sports

2010-02-06T15:01:00.003-06:00

Actually, it was the end of January. I don't want to deceive you. We bundled and trundled through the backyard to play tennis. Yes, I said TENNIS. Blueberry was game. It was his idea; he knows the courts in the backyard are for tennis and he knows the balloons we hit around the house are poor substitutes for the 'real thing.'

Showing his forehand grip

You can see it was *mostly* fun, although walking in a marshmallow snow suit and boots on icy snow isn't always successful. Oh, and Herbie joined us for some frenetic frisbee chewing. It's life in Wisconsin, what can I say?

prepping for his Nike "Just Do It" campaign

Showing off his pearly whites (and his age)

Bookends

2010-01-31T12:57:00.002-06:00

We adore our "bookends", littlest Blueberry and biggest Songbird. Yesterday we spent the whole day at Carthage College watching Songbird swim for her college team. It was great fun - but the best part of the day was watching these two totally enjoy each other. It's magical. Look, you can see it, can't you?

Wrap it up and Take it off

2010-01-30T22:09:00.003-06:00

Well, I'm wrapping up 30 days, but I've only taken off 2. More on 2 later. Let's talk turkey (or tofurky for all you vegetarians) about 30 days of nothing. It was a success in our home. I can't measure it in terms of dollars - I'm not really clear how much we actually "saved" during the month of January. I'll probably run the numbers on our Quicken sometime in the next week. I don't mean to be nonchalant about the savings - there were savings. And, savings are meaningful to us. But, personally I wasn't motivated by the idea of "saving money." Savings is a benefit for our family. For me, however, it's not the PRIZE in the whole exercise. We did make some "extra" contributions in January - for Haiti and also for AHOPE for Children. I am guessing savings were probably just redistributed for charitable giving. My goal and my hope was to engage deeper thinking about my/our relationship with stuff; what we have, how we get it, what we want, how we talk about it.

It's true that I fell off of the wagon twice; both times were a Thursday night and both times I ~~sexted~~ texted my darling husband and asked him to 'please oh pretty please bring home Chipotle!' He delivered the goods for a mere $14 (no biggies needed to be fed and the wee one got fridge remnants). I learned that Thursday nights on working days are really hard on me. There's a pattern to this - and this is illuminating for me. I had no idea! I could have waltzed through weeks and weeks of Thursday night meltdowns, but paying attention to the red flags of consumerism brought on by fatigue and poor planning allows us to plan better for working Thursdays. I'll feel better at the end of those Thursdays - that's a win.

Planning is part of the HUGE lesson of the month. Mr. Silly Pants and I made renewed effort to meal plan for the week, taking into account the busy extras in our schedule ahead of time. We didn't run just barely putting one foot in front of the other- we first had a look down the weekly road. The planning helped us have smoother and more in synch evenings. If one of my personal goals for 30 days of nothing was to celebrate what we have instead of what we want, deliberate meal planning and tending to our schedules actually made space available for more intimate family time. Our evenings felt easier and Mr. Silly Pants and I felt more in synch and more mutually involved and engaged in the evening routine. I liked that part of working the program. I like being in good synch with my husband.

My friend Jayme mentioned that her 30 day exercise helped her "to recalibrate my relationship with spending money (and) has had an enormous impact on how I intend to spend money in the future. It's given me the motivation to think deeply about issues of ethics, giving, entitlement, expectation, competition, and sustainability." I like how she put this big thought together - how the pieces of the exercise helped her "think and link." I also really like the idea of recalibrating. I can relate to her points. I think we accomplished this also.

Personally, one interesting outcome for me is that the excercise actually "sanctioned" some pretty tough conversations about the very things Jayme links together in her big picture: giving, ethics, entitlement, expectations, sustainability, competition. Some of the conversations that Mr. Silly Pants and I had were difficult (dare I say, tense?) and involved digging into some tender spots - how I perceive him, how he perceives me, how we view our "plenty", and our plan for how we're going to live rich lives without allowing the riches of material goods be more important than those things we cherish that can't be quantified; love, passion, kindness, adventure, beautiful music, laughter, gorgeous landscapes. Choosing 30 Days of Nothing was choosing to talk about these things in really deliberate and reflective and PERSONAL ways. I liked having a quick short-cut to these discussions and that piece of permission to just jump in and get messy with the experience as it was upon us. Being on the "program" kept that awareness front and center and enabled mutual interest and responsiveness all month long. We talked about travel and planning (starting an explicit vacation fund), we talked about feeling entitled to coffee out, just because we want it. We talked about our childhood experiences with money. We asked, "Why the heck do we need satellite radio? Really, in both cars? I haven't listened to it, not once." In some contexts the discussions were intense and emotional. In some contexts the questions were pretty darn contentious. But this month the questions fit the quest.

I really needed an intentional exercise to help get some clarity on issues for me that surround "having." I made some progress. We made some progress. Mr. Silly Pants and I are extending this into February with a slightly modified approach - not eliminating all "non-essentials," but rather taking the choas out of our spending and working on making more deliberate choices and decisions on a day by day basis with proper looks ahead into the week, month, and even the year. We are excited about striving for balance as we raise our son and launch our biggies. I'll talk more about this as I get a clearer notion of what "deliberate and less chaos" looks like (I think it will involve a lot of winnowing of our 'stuff' which is pretty exciting!)

Finally, I didn't take much off - 2 lbs. Ugh. I really fell apart on that one. Basically I didn't follow through on journaling. February is a new month. Tomorrow is a new day. I will spend February journaling my 'Lose It' meals with an eye towards health and more energy. It's a hard one to talk about - so I'm not going to talk about it tonight.

Thanks to all the women who did 30 Days together - it was an inspiration to share the process and to learn along the way both with you and from you!

Why big brother is so cool

2010-01-28T08:52:00.001-06:00

Remote control helicopters!

3 Amigos

2010-01-26T22:18:00.003-06:00

It's not exactly what you're thinking - these 3 really ARE 3 Amigos. It started many years ago, when an inspired Songbird came home from school and announced she wanted to volunteer her summer in Central America for Amigos. I was thrilled, and terrified. My amazing daughter was following her compassionate heart and wanted to leave at the age of 16 to work and live FAR FAR AWAY for a whole summer. What's more, she wanted to live independently in a local host community and work on a community sponsored initiative for 10 weeks! This is what Amigos does: they train youth locally to serve rural C&S American communities who have initiatives with Pan American partner agencies . I asked, "sweetie, can't we just find a nice church group and you can go and do work with them in Appalachia or something like that?" She answered, "Mom, you raised me to be this person and now you have to let me." GULP. I nodded, knowing I had acted like an elitist, a racist, and a hypocrite (really, I was - sometimes these stupid reactions are like the air we breath!). It took me some time to 'get it' - to let go and let her go. Indeed, the world needs her just as she needs the world. And so, the family affair with Amigos began. Songbird flew off to Mexico with Amigos. Then Twinkletoes set off with the same program, but on her own totally unique community service adventure to Nicaragua. After 2 amazing Amigos experiences, it became clear that our family had found a great program in which our kids can serve - and who is going to argue with great? (Hey, I'm a teacher, we always steal other people's best ideas!) Waffles thought about arguing with 'great', but he didn't get too far holding the line that he wasn't a 'follower' and therefore wasn't going to South America or Central America. He's right - he's not a follower. Waffles, joining as a veteran family member, is making the experience totally his own. He's a sib, yes, but he's totally his own guy. He's going, and he CHOSE it. He came home one day and said Amigos visited his Spanish class and he'd been swayed. (He had even started the online application without telling me). Waffles will get his assignment in February. After 2 kids and 2 experiences that were truly transformative, I'm darn excited to watch my 'littlest biggie' go off on his own for an adventure in service. And, to put a little exclamation on the whole Amigos "thang", Songbird is returning as a program supervisor this summer....in.....(bated breath).....Ecuador. Mmmm-hmm.

Put this program on your family radar - IT ROCKS! But even more, my 3 Amigos are my heroes.They are. I'm in awe of their spirits, their hearts, their intellects, and the ways each of them expresses all of this in unique and amazing ways.

Momedal

2010-01-23T21:12:00.000-06:00

It's been a heck of a long week. Blueberry surprised his daddy on Monday with a double ear infection (happy birthday Daddy), spent a few days not sleeping well, infected both of his parents with cumbersome colds, and slowed the pace around her to a crawl. Don't, and I mean DON'T look at our kitchen floors. The high chair has an entire lick off meal waiting for a taker, and our paperwork pile looks more like a paper mountain. Our Christmas cards are still sitting on the kitchen counter (I am so not kidding), my lesson plans are off the cuff, the oven is smokin' from accumulating spills, and the car smells like funk. Not good.

But today, after lotsa days of intensive parenting and some yucky gray weather, I went at it with Blueberry with finesse. Mr. Silly Pants is on call today. He was up and out at daybreak and not due home until after well into the afternoon. After our ususal morning routine of books, trains, a little magic marker "coloring" and some tickling games (with some laundry thrown in the midst), Blueberry was treated to a bucket full of snow. We collected scoops of snow, brought it inside, spread out a towel, and had some indoor snow play. We pulled out picnic dishes, spoons and scoops and just had a blast.

I get my own little mommy medal today for doin' a good job. I don't know about you, but I've been feeling a little dull all week, and this was just a good morning because I really showed up, depsite the odds.

Oh, and this week I didn't spend any non-essential funds, even though the tempation for convenience food, diet coke from the $1 machine in school, any little monied pick me up was screamin' my name all week long.

Under the Acacia Tree

We're moving the blog

Wordless Wednesday

PNW, family style

Songbird: Excerpts from Ecuador

Black Power's Gonna Get You Sucka: Right-Wing Paranoia and the Rhetoric of Modern Racism

Reading Racism Right to Left: Reflections on a Powerful Word and Its Applications

Songbird's Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday: Blue's Boat

A message for Songbird

Sunday Snapshot: Black Lion Hospital Room

The White Mind

Two Left Feet

Honduras Bound

A Hungary Addition

Songbird's First Pictures from the Field (Ecuador)

Ecuador - Songbird Chat

Father's Day

Juneteenth

Mulberry Friday

Wordless Wednesday

Addis Ababa debrief

About Africa....the warped Western lens

Sunday Snapshots

ALSO in Addis #4

Wordless Wednesday

ALSO in Addis #3

ALSO in Addis #2

ALSO in Addis #1

Bole Bound

Wordless Wednesday (a day late): In Honor Of Traveling Sisters!

Why we do this

1 penny a day to "Guarantee Conflict Free"

Social Justice Saturday

French Open Champion 2030

Wordless Wednesday

Familiaris Backyardias

Transracial Adoption: a family's experience and advice to those consider...

Wordless Wednesday

My "lens" - Beautiful Black Boy

Anderson Cooper on "Race" - This week's series.

Diamond Deal....

Feathers, Fridays, and Friends

Tim Wise-The Pathology of White Privilege Part 1/6

Other Mothers, Other Realms

The Miracle of Ms. Plum

Thoughts on language - Tim Wise's take on the N* word

Cranes -- No Heavy Lifting Involved

Wordless Water Play

Garden Gnomes - big and little

The Mundane and The Momentous

Sunday Snapshot

The Stereotype Threat

Wordless Wednesday

Why Time Wise Rocks My World...and why understanding white privilege matters

Transracial Parenting

Beach Bum - CA style

Chico - and the work of Lee Mun Wah

For the Birds

Sunday Snapshot

reMoved

Explaining it....

Wordless Wednesday on a 110 year old Steinway

White Privilege Conference in LaCrosse

Why Immersion?

Eggscellent Easter!

Eggstra Fun

Speaking into the Silence

The Case against Camo

When Daddy is away....

Expansion and Immersion

Wordless Wednesday

Perspective on suckage

Lavendar Booties and a 2 Year Old

The Maasai 'go to work'

The Coffee Jar and My Bosom

The Biggies told me *THIS* was a Spanish Conversation Table...

Rear View Mirror

Waffles won't....(I have no idea why this moved from 2 weeks ago to today's post?) But it's worth restating!

Sunday Snapshot

The Biggies told me THIS was a Spanish Conversation Table...